As of today, D and I have reach the half a year mark being married together. I wouldn't say our marriage was a smooth sailing one. Well, it INITIALLY WAS until things took a different turn on us, on me, on him. I don't know how to feel at that point of time. It felt like my one & only fairy tale dreams which I thought I've been living in just came crashing down on me. I felt devastated. So so so devastated.
I wouldn't want to touch what happened because I wasn't going to hang my dirty laundry for people to see or read BUT I want people to understand that this IS marriage life. I know it wasn't going to be all sunshine & rainbows but I didn't thought "certain" things could happened. Well, it just takes A LOT and it takes EVERYTHING to make things work, marriage work basically.
I was on the verge of giving up. I know this sounds pretty ridiculous, but I was going to. I felt...I can't even explain the hurt I was feeling...it felt like how I felt when I lose my mom. That hurt, that pain, everything. I felt worthless, I felt empty, I felt cheated, I felt stupid and I felt like I was weak, thus, being stepped on.
It took A LOT of me somehow and yes, this is marriage:-
Yerps! THIS IS MARRIAGE. I knew at the end of the day, no matter what, D truly loves me and this is something I know deep down inside him and I always see that sincerity and love he has for me. It's different if there's no love but we truly love each other, else we wouldn't have chosen each other to settle down together with.
We weren't going to give up on each other.
I realized this one series of drama that made us stronger and realized how much we actually love each other. So much, we do. I guess we have brave through the storm together and we will continue braving through all life obstacles together, Insyaallah. And I always pray to Allah SWT, that may Allah SWT always keep my husband safe and happy at all times, and so does our marriage till Jannah. Amin!
XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni ♥
