Kifarah.

Dear Diary,

My late grandmother has always preach this phrase into her kids and so Mama did the same thing to us, to me.

"Biar orang buat kita jangan kita buat orang."

I am the kind of person who doesn't really understand much when older people try to tell me stuff but I always know somehow there are reason and consequences behind it when people tell you things like that. I am the kind who is always afraid of consequences.

One example would be education. How my parents always forced us to study hard and beat us into studying, so that we don't regret it in the near future. I hate studying and I wish I don't even have to go to school, I never understand why is school that important BUT...fearing consequences, I'd study and in the end when I finish Polytechnic and my Degree, I finally understood why. To get good jobs etc.

Another example would be people always tell me to always never hurt your parents' feelings because one day your children will do the same thing to you. I don't have children yet but I'm afraid of such consequences ever happening to me, so I don't wish to do things like that to my parents and I try my best to please them whatever ways I can.

Some people learn the hard way, like they have to go through hardship and then they change. Example failing in life and pick themselves up to be successful etc. Whereas I'm the kind who'd rather listen and stay on the safer side.

At the age I am now, I've learnt and see many things in life. Things that are true about the many things my parents & late grandmother have said. My parents may not be all religious but they have always gave me words of advice and cultivate me with Islamic teachings too and also from experience to shape me into a better person I am today. And for that, I am always thankful.

We've seen how religious parents can sometimes even fail to bring up their children to at least be-human. So sometimes, it does pisses me off when people who are religious think they are better humans then people who are less religious. We have even see people who never don on the hijab are actually better human beings than people who actually don on the hijab. Some who don't don on the hijab but always take their 5 times a day prayers seriously, while some who don, doesn't really much care about it. So who are we to judge? People always use remarks such as 'Don't use my hijab to criticize my character as I'm only human, I make mistake and I'm still learning His ways.' So it makes sense too, that you do not criticize people who do not don on the hijab and who are still learning as well. But to me, I bet to differ this sentence.

I know I'm going to create a lot of speculations with what I'm going to say now. But to me, when someone have already don on the hijab, means you're ready. Ready to be a better version of yourself. Yes, it does not mean you cannot make mistake, we can because we're only human. But at least, a better version of yourself. You do not criticize others, you don't look down on others and please try to avoid major sins as much as possible, you are an example to people out there.

My late mom always tell me, wearing a hijab symbolize many nice things. I remember once I wanted to don the hijab at a young age and Mama told me, "If you are going to laugh outside like a crazy woman with your friends and don't know how to behave yourself in public, then better not spoil the image of people wearing a hijab." Because people who wear hijab do not portray that kind of behaviour, it's embarrassing.

You've seen how many of our non-muslim asked us this question before?

"How come I see this tudung girl wear tudung but go clubbing?"

"How come I see this tudung girl wear tudung but drink?"

etc etc etc.

And does it stun you for a moment? Because to me, a person who wears the hijab should always try as much as possible to be a better version of themselves, not to the extend of looking down on others. It's different when people tell you, "Last time my friend used to have tattoo/drink/club but now she doesn't anymore, she has put on the tudung." Which we rarely hear.

I'm not going to give a hook to people who are going to criticize about my dressing, because if you do, it doesn't reflect me as a person, but you as a person who criticize.

---

And I just want to touch on how important it is to be nice to people, or at least try to be nice to people. This bring us back to what my heirloom 'line' is.

Never think what you've done bad to people, you can escape them. Yes, you may be rejoicing at that moment, thinking you can escape from everything at that point of time, but in the future, you'll never know what has been in store for you. Because Allah SWT always sees. Remember, the person who is suffering and dianiaya always have the upper hand. Their prayers are always well heard and well listen by the Almighty, by Allah SWT.

So you can choose to "destroy" someone life now but remember, at the end of the day, it's not me who you are dealing with. I can choose to take revenge but I've long let go of that side of Azie and I'm not like that anymore. I'll continue being nice for as long as I can be patience with, for as long as I live and I leave the rest to Allah SWT to take care of everything.

Kifarah.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥

My Bridal Part 1

Dear Diary,

*Disclaimer: Please take note. I am saying this based on my own experience. I am not asking anyone to not choose the same bridal as me because some people may or may not go through the same thing as me. Some may agree and may not agree with me. If you're decisive, chances are you'll be happy with my bridal and my bridal has a lot and many pretty outfits which I cannot deny that when you look, you just go crazy over it. And I'm not saying this to bring anyone down but solely just sharing on what I feel and had to go through. At the same time to keep BTB & GTB prepared and a clear mind of what to expect when you're there if you choose the same bridal as me. That's all. :) Happy choosing.

22 February 2017

Yesterday was our first bridal outfit selection. I was feeling both excited and scary at the same time. Excited because of all the wedding preparation process, this is my most favourite I would say. I bet, this is the most favourite part of every BTB. For me, I want to look nice and beautiful on my wedding day, of course, we all do. Scary because I have a problem with decision making, not say problem, but I am quite fickle and I usually take a long time to choose something that I want. (Hint: Engagement ring & Wedding band) But all in all, despite my fickleness, everyone has been quite patience in my process of choosing the things that I want, EXCEPT my bridal.

Let's side track a little bit on my Post-wedding photoshoot:-

We received a call yesterday from our bridal saying that they had to cancel our post-wedding photoshoot on the day we have chosen which is 2 days after our wedding day and postpone it to another day. The reason being because 'somebody' else (some bride & groom whom I basically don't know who lah eh) 😔 already booked a flight ticket for them to fly off to somewhere to do their wedding photoshoot overseas. I was slightly (I can still use slightly for this) upset about that because we have already booked the date with the bridal FIRST yet they decided to change ours last minute just like that? They even said, that the 'somebody' have already booked the flight ticket for them and the 'somebody' cannot change the flight ticket to some other day. Well, is that my problem? That 'somebody' also gong is it?! You didn't ask for an available slot first with the bridal at which date they are available and you just booked? Nonsense! So, is my bridal telling me that D and I are not your priority? But overseas shoot are just because they pay more and we don't? But we are also your customer and we are also paying. Nevermind about that.

They then decided to push our photoshoot a week later, by then, it's already the fasting month. Because we decided to get married a week before Ramadhan (fasting month), at the same time it is also my birthday week/month. Plus, I don't want to do a post-wedding photoshoot after the fasting month or during the Hari Raya month. My conscience are very clear, I want my henna stain to still be visible on the wedding photoshoot (which is what Mama always preferred) and when Hari Raya comes, it'll be a month plus after the wedding. Yes I can be quite "determined" in a sense if I want something, I will want it. Furthermore, D and I  are probably tired to repeat the whole process of our wedding and at the same time, the excitement has already gone by then and we will be the pengantin basi kind. So nevermind, we didn't want to be that difficult and still decided to settle for a week after our wedding day during the fasting day just to get it over and done with and to be accommodative about it. K.

But the part the annoys me the most was during the bridal selection day. It pisses me off somehow, really.

I've heard from some of my friends that some and their bridal, well most bridal are accommodative and patience enough by allowing them to try on most of their wedding outfit there. But my bridal, no. When I was there, the lady, V (I don't want to name her but let's call her V) initially showed me her ipad on the different kind of songket they have for sanding (during the wedding reception day on a Sunday), basically all the design are their newly launch design/outfit. She then asked me what kind of sanding outfit that I wanted. She asked me if I wanted the modern songket or traditional songket. This is my FIRST time wedding, well it's always our FIRST wedding anyway right for most of us, I asked her what's the difference between the modern & traditional songket. V took out the modern songket from their newly launch collection kind for me to try and leave the traditional ones. So, okay. I just let it go. She then asked me what colour I wanted, fair enough, I told her I wanted to see both the Red & Green ones since I have 4 outfits altogether. And she took 2 green outfits and 2 red outfits from the modern songket new collections. So D asked, is this all the red & green that you have? And she said yes. Tsk! My sister wore a different kind of green for her wedding (same bridal) and V didn't even take out those for us to see. Since I was having a hard time deciding, V allow me to put on the outfit to try and asked D to snap a picture, so that I can choose them easily when seeing the picture. Luckily, all their newly launch collection songket is super super pretty. So I can just keep one eye close about not seeing the traditional songket kind. But then, the difficult part when I became so fickle about deciding which modern songket I want out of all the ones I tried. I can't decide to have the red or green for Saturday or Sunday, either one I'm confused because both are pretty looking. And of course I wanted the Sunday outfit to be the nicest one among all because that is where all my guests are present.

I tried 2 green songket - G1 & G2.
And another 2 red songket - R1 & R2

The G1 colour of the songket really makes it look wow and unique with the guy outfit in green too. The R1 outfit is wow too but the R1 ones is more of grey and the guys outfit is not in red but grey. Tsk! I also want D to look good leh, I don't want him to be in dull grey colour but no choice, the R1 for the female outfit is more wow than the G1. I tried another green, G2 that has a slight of blue colour with silver sparkling glitters and that outfit was nice too and I'd thought it could be for my sanding and the G1 for the Saturday night, then the R1 for my photo shoot since it looks very good in their pictures on the ipad. R2 was a no no for D, it was a mermaid kind and he said it looks not nice. Lol! Furthermore, he said that colour is more orangey than red.

When D direct V that I wanted R1 for photoshoot, G1 for Saturday and G2 for Sunday, she went, "Huh? Now both green for Saturday and Sunday? I thought you want one green and one red?" I could hear her say from the fitting room and so I was like "Yeahs eh, 2 of the same colour on the same day, so boring." So I decided to swop outfits in my head. I keep thinking how wow R1 is for people to see yet I want green colour on my sanding day, so I kept going back and forth on all those 3 outfits between which one to wear for Saturday, Sunday and for the photo shoot. Until I finally make a decision because V looked rather annoyed. K. So, settle on the sanding part.

Now comes choosing the outfit for the nikah (solemnization) part, V asked me what colour I wanted for nikah and of course, I wanted white since it symbolize purity, we'd all prefer white. BUT...V only took out 2 outfits for me try on out of the many white they have. I tried between those 2 white of mermaid cutting - W1 & W2 and yet again I couldn't decide because I love the cutting of W1, as the mermaid cutting is nicer, it's plain white but the design details are only on the top chest area of the outfit, while W2 have not much detail but it's a lace overall. I have a hard time deciding because I'll be wearing hijab, so the details on W1 might not be able to be seen because the hijab might cover it and the lace would be preferably be nice since it's not so plain boring. But I love W1 cutting because it makes me look slimmer and nice? Lol! As much as I love W2, D then suggested W1 for me and I settled for that. Then while D was choosing his nikah outfit, I saw one of their mannequin wearing the same white mermaid cutting - W3. So I was telling D, how come V don't let me try this one too? It looks nice. So V said to me that I better stop seeing anymore outfit because I'm getting a little bit more confusing and it confuses her also. Like seriously?! When she said that, I felt quite offended. Yes, I may be a difficult person to make a decision BUT I have to make the right decision in choosing at least what I want. We only marry once, hopefully. V was reluctant to take that outfit off the mannequin but D went "Take it down for her to try lah." And V did, she tried somehow to accommodate and let me try. When I tried W3, I like it but the cutting is the same as W2. So I decided not to take W3 and you can see how V look at me like she went through the trouble of taking the outfit off the mannequin and I don't want it. (Lol! I seriously don't know whether I should laugh or to cry at this point.)

Moving on to the gown outfit. I have always known I wanted a slightly bare back dresses and flare kind, something like what Bella in Twilight wear (even though her dress is not flare) but of course, not too much bare back because D's parents are conservative like that. So, I told V, what I wanted and she asked me if I wanted tube dresses. Obviously no tube dresses. Then she was like "Then what you want?" So I explain to her again, something bare back but with laces on and she showed me one dress with short sleeve. I told her I don't want short sleeve (regret for not trying this outfit on, maybe it will look nice on me) but something with full lace long sleeve and she showed me that she has only one design like that. I tried the gown on and I immediately love it. But when D saw it, he was like "So revealing." To me it's not but he was afraid that his parents will kill him for that. My sister wore something of the same kind like mine and to me she look just fine, nice and not revealing. So, D told me to choose whatever I want and which I did, I settle for that gown. Besides I'm afraid to try anymore gown because afraid V will say anything and I was feeling the pressure and headache of making decision.

After settling the actual day outfit, I was told to choose my bouquet as it is complimentary with the package. Of course, I keep flipping the page back and forth, back and forth trying to match the flowers to all my 4 outfit, if it's too red then my flowers cannot be seen on my red outfit. Too white, then my white flowers cannot be seen on my white outfit. So while choosing V went "Want to choose flower also headache. Next time I tell my florist don't put so many design for you, the more design you have, the harder it is for you to choose." Wah! I feel so offended that I just decide to choose one bouquet with 3 colours in it and close the album. Then D asked me "Why never choose bouquet with only 2 colours in it?" I wanted to see the album again, but V told me not to see it anymore.

My face changed. D knew at that point of time I'm very upset, frustrated, annoyed just a lot of mixture of feelings in one.

I was supposed to choose 4 more outfits for my photoshoot but D asked V if we could do it another day after seeing me that way. Just to ease me and give me time from today's stress. V said she has all the time today if we want to do it today and don't mind also if we want to do it another day. I was like in my heart, "She say have a lot of time today but keep rushing me to make decision and get "annoyed" at me. Shouldn't she give me time to think at least?" I'd thought to myself that I better come another day, before I make a rash decision on my other 4 outfits. This time I will do a research on the outfit that they have on their website etc and show them what I want. According to my sister , the bridal always expect you to know what you want when you're there, to make things easier but sadly, I don't and am not like that. Besides I also don't care what they want to think of me, if I'm being difficult or not etc, it's my wedding day, I'm paying and I just want to look my best.

After I left the bridal, I cried. I cried just outside the bridal for feeling everything at once. Frustrated, angry, annoyed, upset, satisfied and happy too. Lol! While walking to head for lunch with D and looking back at the pictures again for all the outfit that D and I chose during the try-out just now. Luckily, everything is seriously nice looking. Alhamdulilah! And I cannot wait to see when I'm fully don on the actual day. Lol!

I actually warn D not to be angry at them if they annoy us in any way but after seeing me cry, D went "Can I get angry and tell them at least if they are not treating us right?" I had to allow and agree with him on that part. LOL!

---

Got home and D told me that his parents doesn't agree that the fact that we are doing our post-wedding shoot during the fasting month because it is just inappropriate. So he told me, it's either we do a pre-wedding shoot (which to me is more inappropriate since we are not married yet and how can we be touchy for pictures) or we cancel the whole post-wedding shoot. Of course I was annoyed. I was annoyed for the 2nd time in a day. I've deposited money already seh, it'll be a waste of money to cancel because we won't get our money back.

Besides a wedding photoshoot is once a lifetime. Plus, I have already made myself very clear why I wanted a post-wedding shoot and not pre-wedding shoot and I am not going back on my decision. Anyway, D is already my husband by then and we're already halal, so a photoshoot won't kill us besides maybe we will just be tired and thirsty since it's the fasting month.

All thanks to my bridal ah that we have to go through this kind of thing.

But anyway, we have settle this part already. I'm just afraid of my 2nd appointment of choosing my photoshoot outfit. Arhhhhh.   I told them I wanted to put on the sanggul lintang during my wedding day and now I'm thinking, should I should I not? Because I'm afraid I will look different and not nice. Errrr. And I probably want D to change his wedding blazer colour to something else, grey is too main stream. Hurrrr!

Hahaha! There you go bridal. I'm going to make changes again. I'll decide and see you soon.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥

Berkat Joo Bee.

Dear Diary,

Headed to Johor Bahru, JB yesterday to look for my wedding favours and I cannot thank A enough for driving me there. He basically didn't work yesterday just to help me run my own wedding errands (not even his please) and I truly appreciate it so much that words cannot even explain. A has done a lot of things for me since the day I knew him and I can only pray to Allah SWT that He keep him happy and always bless him with all the wonderful things in life. I can never repay for the many things he has done for me all these years, for taking good care of me as well. I know Allah SWT will have the best things plan for him here & thereafter for everything that he is. Amin!

---

Met-up with A after work and despite his passport does not have anymore pages left to be stamped, he still brought me to JB because he managed to find ONE spot left to stamp on his passport. LOL!

Jammed slightly bad when we were about to enter JB because of the lorries which also wanted to cross-over the borders to Malaysia. So we had to wait slightly longer before we managed to clear Singapore's custom. But it was not bad, put me in a car with good songs and I'm good to groove. Half an hour before we cleared and we were in Malaysia already. Like hooray! Headed to the toilet first at Shell Petrol station and off we go to Larkin.

Bought this at the Shell Petrol because we were feeling slightly famished.

Joo Bee, Larkin.

Source

 

Okay, this place sells a lot of Berkat stuff or your wedding favours. (If I'm not wrong it's located in the 2nd or 3rd storey, near the massaging chair area.) Even though the place can be quite "messy" but I still love how the place is. Like the moment you enter, you know you're up for wedding business. Sadly, I didn't really take much picture yesterday or even take a picture of the place because the moment I enter the shop, I was down to business - To look for wedding favours. Hahaha! And the aunty at the shop was VERY VERY nice okay. She even gave me quite a bit of discount since I bought quite a bit of wedding favours there. She was being very helpful too and so nice to the extend even ransacking her store room to check for me stuff that I wanted; like my organza bags because I wanted a particular colour. You know me, that I can be quite fussy or rather determined when I want something. The aunty even try to give me as less discount as possible and when one organza bag was off my budget, she suggested another one that was within my budget.

I finally got everything that I wanted and was about to make payment, strangely the price was quite a bomb, so I stunned and told A to do for the calculation for me secretly (which I sucks at) and the aunty realized her cashier kinda miscalculate my amount. So she told her cashier to recalculate again for me and apparently, yes, the amount was wrong, a difference of $200. LOLOLS! So the aunty was like "Wa tau, tak boleh jadi maciam gitu mahal punya. Sebab itu wa suruh dia kira lagi. Lu jangan takut. Wa kasih lu discount bagus punya."

Lol! Yes you did aunty and we weren't mad either. Hehe! So happy that I finally managed to settle one wedding favours down BUT I might even go back there another day to get more of the same wedding favours because I realized I bought it less when I reached home. =X I was looking for 2nd wedding favours at the shop but the aunty didn't have it in store but well that's okay. I will look for that somewhere else. Thank you aunty, you the best!

Jakel

Headed to Jakel to look for mine & D's baju kurung for our wedding tray gift.

Source

This place is the best especially if you want to look for all the different kind of Hari Raya baju. And not only they sell ready made ones, they also have kain and just kainssssss (cloth) that you can just buy and send it off for tailoring.

I found a few of baju that I like, they have artist Hari Raya collections like Ayda Jebat's and Scha Alyahya's which is very pretty. They also have the male ones which is Aaron Aziz's and Awal Ashari's. I was thinking of getting Scha Alyahya's for mine & Awal Ashari's for D but the problem D is not with me. He may be easy going and the anything-goes kind but I really don't want to be making all the decision for him. I want him to choose something at least and make a decision. So I decided to not get anything from there.

That was all for today for my wedding hunt.

The rest are nothing substantial just food and shopping. Headed to Giant to get some groceries, toiletries stuff and some other stuff. I even saw cute outfit for D's niece, Marissa and I decided to get 2 for her. Hopefully she likes it and can fit into it. Hehe!

They are Chelsea fan.

 

Faber-castell colour pencil is cheap there. Hehehe!

Bumped into A's relatives when we were at Giant. Lol! Coincidentally, they were also going to head to Kilang Bateri to have dinner and so we decided to join them for shell-out.

Look at the sumptuous amount of spread. It's actually for 4-5 person of food serving and there are like 8 of us. Even so, we were having a hard time finishing the food because the spread is huge.

 

This the after math. Hehehe! We tried as much as possible to finish it and not want the food to go to waste. Good job I will say. Hehe!

After dinner, A's relatives headed home but we wanted to head to Pasar Borong Pandan. So we separated from each other. I didn't do much at Pasar Borong, just accompanied A to get his stuff and we bought this to try out.

Kerepok Lekor Cheese + Mayonnaise. Yummsss!

Send A's car for car wash and we headed back to Singapore with a slight traffic jam. Reached Singapore at around two in the morning. Lol! Thank God, I wasn't working the next day, so I had the whole day to rest today.

Till here.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥

Honeymoon booked!

Dear Diary,

Just few weeks ago I was still undecided of my honeymoon destination. Procrastination can be my number one problem, well at times. So I decided to get things done, chop chop!

Went through the web and scanned through websites after websites on the 'ideal' honeymoon vacations. Yes 99% of the time, if you notice I am doing the work. From houses to blah blah blah.  I'm not exactly complaining or should I be? But it's alright because 99% of the time, D does all the payment. So this means I could secretly sneak up and book on some expensive stuff. Hahaha! Okay maybe not, everything on moderation. Hehehe!

Listed down for about 8 nearby nothing-to-do destinations because we can't afford to go far for 3 days 2 nights and asked D for an opinion. Of course if anyone could ever remember, he is just the 'anything goes' kind of person. So of course the nearest being Malaysia, Indonesia and Vietnam.

Malaysia
1) Penang
2) Langkawi

Indonesia
1) Bintan
2) Bandung
3) Lombok
4) Yogyakarta

Vietnam
1) Hanoi
2) Ho Chi Minh

I did a lot of comparison from flight time, flight prices, the hotels and places of interest etc etc etc before I finally decided to choose the honeymoon vacation and happened D coincidently mentioned that he don't mind heading the same destination which I had in mind and so it was that!

Since it's a few months away, the price is still in the reasonable range, thus, I decided to book the flight to go and return tickets quickly with the help of JM. Yerps! This is my FIRST time ever booking for a flight and I couldn't feel more happy and proud of myself. Hahahaha! And yes, it will be my FIRST time ever flying to another country with a man - my husband, Insyaallah. LOL!

And then 2 days after, D and I sat down to look for our accommodation place and this particular place or rather hotel, caught my attention. Again that was it and we booked the hotel.

Honestly, I cannot think of anything but to travel already. It has been a while since I last travel to somewhere and I cannot wait. Till here. Few months to go before I reveal where is our honeymoon destination, with pictures too, Insyaallah.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥