A better Muslimah

Dear Diary,

It kept me thinking..

I wore my sleveless blouse, waist tied ribbon with my mini skater skirt. 

Yesterday, as I was heading to the wash room, I bumped into the cleaner aunty, well I call her Kakak to be exact since she's not that really old. The moment she saw me, she gave me this taken aback look. So me being the usual friendly me, I went over to say Hello.

But end up with a,

"Lawa nya dia hari ni. Tapi ni dah nak dekat bulan puasa, tak boleh tau pakai sexy-sexy macam gini."

I just stood there while smiling, I told her, "Ye kak, saya tahu."

I mean it's good that she care to tell me things like this. When people correct you, means they love you in a way. But I don't dress openly during Ramadhan as well. It has been my principle since many years ago.

The obvious thing that I'm worst at being a Muslimah which I cannot deny is the way I dress. I want to don on the Hijab one day of course, Insyaallah but not at the moment. Because I want to make sure that when I don the tudung, I am sincere and all prepared for it and portray a good example.

Even the non-muslim question me sometimes. People with tudung should portray a rather polite front but what do you see now when you see people with tudung?

-Laughing so loud in the public

-Holding hands with boyfriend, bukan muhrim

-Gossip openly

And etc etc etc, which sometimes people without tudung don't do. 

I just want to make sure that after I get married, then prolly I will don the tudung. Because holding my husband hand is not wrong in public by then. At the same time, I want to be fully prepared and sincere when I put it on. I don't want to be putting on the tudung and at the bottom of my heart I still have thoughts like.. "Ohh, how I wish I can wear that dress, mini skirt if I don't don the tudung."

A friend mentioned, it's okay if people see me on the outside to be like this, as long as I know what I'm doing. Clothing is external but what most important is internal,

Your attitude, being polite, being nice all the time and etc.

And not forgetting my prayers which Alhamdulilah I have been performing, puasa which I've been doing and Terawih which I love going to. Amin.

I'm still trying to be a better Muslimah each day. Insyaallah. Well, I'm almost reaching my journey to work now.

Have a nice day everyone.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni