Thursday, September 22, 2016

After the Engagement..

Dear Diary,

It has been almost few weeks after my Engagement and Alhamdulilah, everything went well. Somehow...And Syukur Alhamdulilah, I am officially engaged to the love of my life. /:)

I didn't prepare much trays for his side because, I was doing everything on my own and everything felt so rushed. Trust me, it would be easier if Mama was around but I just have got to live with it. I must thank a lot of people who have helped me here and there. And if you follow me on Instagram, you all know who you are actually. I have thanked them personally on Instagram and through text as well. Hehe! May Allah SWT bless all of you people for helping this anak yatim.


And this is the dulang/tray that my friend, Eileen helped me made from scratch. We did using Styrofoam pieces and pieced all of them together, with LOTS of hardwork and for daysssss okay. The grass carpet was from Daiso. I didn't spend much on the dulang because obviously mostly were recycled items. I was supposed to borrow the traditional dulang from a friend but last minute kene paitao and none of my relatives have the dulang. I wanted to rent but one dulang almost cost me about 10 bucks per rental. Imagine having 5 dulang-dulang = $50. No way. That is almost the cost of my engagement baju. And for me, I think buying the traditional metal tray would be space-consuming at home because I'll only be using them twice in a lifetime, (engagement and wedding) and then what do you want me to do with the tray after that?

I was very much pleased with everything when I was told that my dulang look rather kesian. I felt humiliated, I felt sad, I felt stupid, I felt pathetic. Nobody have no idea how much I spent doing this with my friend, thinking about this each time, especially when I had to do everything on my own and then such comment were thrown at me. People might mean well..but sometimes, it is just the way how it is being expressed to me and sometimes I wonder, if such comments were necessary, if you understand someone's plight. But whatever it is, looking at this picture..I am so proud of it. To me, my tray is beautiful, unique and modern. Period.


And this was from the guy's side to me. I felt so paiseh because initially, I didn't expect them to bring more dulang because the way D always told me "My side is going to exchange just the ring and hantaran aje, nothing more. And the rest maybe one or two gubahan from my aunties or relatives gitu. Just my relatives aje, not a lot of people". ONE or TWO. ONE or TWO. Not a lot of people. And I'm not sure how the tradition is but some people said, the girl is supposed to give more dulang to the guy. But looking at this, you could have already guessed who gave more. I almost fainted. But I am not so the traditional kind or the law-by-law kind of person. For as long as it doesn't says in the Qur'an that girls have to give more dulang, I'm not going to let it bother me much. Furthermore, it doesn't even state in the Qur'an that we need to exchange gifts either.


And then another thing that made me panic is when & how the ring was supposed to be put on. I have measured the ring using the finger on my left hand when I was with D and he, himself, never bring up about this issue, about whether it should be placed on the right or left hand's finger. But anyway, of course, my fiancé can never be harap when it comes to this kind of thing. So after the ring was being placed on during the engagement, I was told by some, for Malay traditions, the ring was supposed to be placed on the right hand and not left. Because left hand is tangan cebuk, the hand use for "dirty stuff" and the right hand is more appropriate because it is more "cleaner". That make sense somehow and my heart almost stopped. I thought to myself "Shit! What have I done wrong again this time?" I got scared and I panic but still keeping my calm somehow. So I tried to whisper and asked some people around me on that day, and they told me it doesn't matter where the ring is being placed on.

I couldn't stop thinking, so went to google and I found this,

1) Coming from this source it says:-
It doesn't matter where the ring is being placed, depends on your own liking. But usually engagement ring goes on the left and wedding ring goes on the right.

2) And this source:-

Menurut ulama Hanafi, Maliki, dan Hambali, memakai cincin di tangan kiri itu lebih afdol. Sholih bin Ahmad (putra daripada Imam Ahmad) meriwayatkan pendapat Imam Ahmad bin Hambal, “Memakai cincin di tangan kiri lebih aku sukai” (Masa-il al Imam Ahmad 2/208). Beliau menegaskan bahwa hadis yang memerintahkan untuk memakai cincin di tangan kiri lebih kuat dari sisi sanadnya. Yang beliau maksudkan adalah hadis dari sahabat Anas bin Malik radhiyallahu’anhu,

كان خاتم النبي في هذه، وأشار إلى الخنصير من يده اليسرى

‘Nabi biasa memakai cincin sebelah sini’, beliau mengisyaratkan pada jari kelingking tangannya sebelah kiri” (HR. Muslim no. 2095)

 Guess I am somehow saved this time. Phew! ^:)^

And I find the cameraman didn't pretty much do a good job although he was nice lahhh. Some old, classic, traditional poses I was made to do that I became a laughing stock to some of my friends. Smirking smiley And then he was so "eager" in taking photos that he kiap my cake and it became lopsided. Hurmph So so upset when I saw my engagement cake that way. Furthermore, I customized it specially for D sehhh! Chelsea cake. His favourite football team.
And look at the way how he took picture of the ring being sarung. Can't even see the ring.  I don't know whether to laugh or cry seeing this picture. Maybe both.  

Talking about cake , this part too. Earlier part of the engagement day, when I asked Ayah for help just to send me over to Woodlands to collect my engagement cake and Yishun to collect the food that both my colleagues have ordered for me, it became an issue for him. Haiz! So many things happened in one day. But anyway, here was all the food on that day,









Epok-epok ordered by Anita
 
Marble cake ordered by my Manager








I didn't even get to eat much because I was afraid that my lipstick will wear-off. Haha! My make-up was on point on that day. So happy to see me-self that I don't even wish to remove the make-up. Hehe! My beautiful make-up was done by Trisha and Dania, Anita two beautiful daughters. I have to thank Anita and their two girls so so much for doing this for me. Honestly, I tried asking around for professional make-up artist and some charge up to $300. I mean, I do understand why it's expensive. The make-up they used, the brushes and all etc but it was over my budget. $200 being the cheapest by far but I really have to budget myself. I can do so much with $200. And to have my face "painted" for just a small & short one day event and then to remove it. It's like as if I'm throwing my $200 away down the drain. It's different if it's wedding you see. I was to the extent of being chinchai that I wanted to just do my own make-up, just anyhow je lah as long as I put some "colours" to my face. Lol! When Anita told me her daughters could do it for me without having me to pay them. But of course, I did give them a small amount of angpao, I wanted to give more but I'm afraid that my $ get "rejected". But they did an extremely great job, both of them literally work together to come up with my final look that even everyone told me that I look pretty on that day. (Oh so does D's aunt too, who mentioned again the week after our engagement when I saw her at her daughter's wedding. Hehehehe!) And for the first time I had a full pledge make-up on. Cehhh! Hahaha! I was just so happy seeing me-self the whole day. The contouring they did, the highlighting, the fake eyelash *bats eyelash* that even myself have no idea how to do it. Haizzz! To add on, some even charge an additional $80 for hairdo but the girls was so sincere, so ikhlas, so nice in helping me that they did my hairdo too for me including putting on the veil. I am truly blessed! But of course, this wouldn't be possible...the me-self being pretty without Anita and her two beautiful girls; with great talents. And come to think of it, I must be not pretty or mist be ugly ehhh on normal days without make-up. How come nobody praise me on normal days one???? Lol!

All in all, everything went okay. I mean I didn't expect things to go all perfect. I was expecting things like this to happen, some set-backs and etc etc etc. But what most importantly, it's over and now, we are officially fiancé and fiancée. Syukur Alhamdulilah!

Many thanks to those who have make doa for us. Many thanks to those who keep telling us to always always always have patience for one another till the big day. Hehe! Yeahs, so many things happened since we are engaged, literally.  I can literally too, roll my eyes 1000 times.

So, till the big day, Insyaallah!

XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni 

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