Thursday, June 05, 2014

Braces Journey Session 1

Dear Diary,

I am feeling a little bit less stress than yesterday that's because the exams are over. Hooraaah! But let's not get too excited over this short-term happiness because I received an e-mail from my lecturer earlier this morning to get started on my Dissertation. Smiley

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As the title suggested, I took the morning off today from work to start on my braces journey.

Braces wasn't one of the option that I ever wanted when I was young despite not having a nicely align set of teeth. I always tell myself NO BRACES, NEVER when dentist suggested if I wanted any. Plus I personally hate going to the dentist. I would rather get admitted in the hospital and have my blood taken a hundred times than asking me to visit the dentist.

I still remember those days during Primary school whereby my friends will get so excited having to call up for dentist so that they can escape lesson, whereas for me, I always utter down my breath with a "Please NOT me, NOT me, please please please!!!" And if my name was called up, I'll go to the toilet and STARE at my teeth thinking whatever will happen later before slowly dragging my feet to the dentist. Haha!

As I grew older, I had a supernumerary teeth growing right on top of my right gum which look something like this. By the way, this are not mine.

I couldn't care less about having this extra tooth despite getting quite a number of tease from both  Ayah Muhammad, who kept asking me to remove it. But of course NOT! NOT the dentist.

And it wasn't only me.  Mama told me that Adik had the same issue when  she was younger too but  hers grew on the hard palate of the mouth and the dentist at school, send  her off to the specialist for surgery removal.


But  Adik was young at that point of time,  she didn't know anything. So  she probably just follow whatever was decided. Whereas for me, I was already in Secondary school and I know how to feel pain, remember pain, differentiate pain and understand the pain of tooth extraction with NEEDLES. Because I was once injected with 4 needles in Primary school, just to remove my second molar. I almost died and tell myself, NO MORE dentist in my entire life.

But as you grew older, things changed.

You understand how important dentist are and how important to keep your teeth clean and healthy and not just your body. I start getting holes in the teeth which basically pains when I try to eat food that is hard to chew like your crackers, keropok, they are MY FAVOURITE. Hahaha!

I decided to gather my courage and visit the dentist. Furthermore, I have already started working and I was able to bear my own expenses. So, I promise myself to visit the dentist at least once a year despite the fact I know we have to do it at least 6 months? Haha! But dentist can be quite pricey, so yes, sticking that to 1 year once.

My dental visit could cost me up to ea least $300-$400 for polishing, scaling, a few fillings here and there and sometimes, they need to inject to numb the area. Everything was quite bearable and so I told myself, dentist wasn't that bad afterall and thus, I make subsequent appointment for my next dentist visit.

Despite still being scared to visit the dentist, I was a little less scared than before. So, I decided to get my supernumerary tooth extracted after so long. While visiting the dentist, I was told if I wanted to put on braces. Because if I wanted, some dentist would prefer to remove my existing molar tooth rather than the supernumerary tooth depending on the X-ray.

From there, I started to explore into doing braces. Furthermore, my colleagues had braces on and their teeth look so nice!

And even before that, a few occasion that I have actually wanted to put braces on but it was quite pricey for me plus I had to pay for school fees. And I didn't know which dental serve good braces and at a reasonable price. Some braces could really be death of you costing up to 6K to 7K even for just ceramic braces. I almost died.

A lot of my friends, I mean A LOT of them tell me NOT to remove it and not to put on braces, because they told me my extra tooth makes it me to be me. It's just me. HAHA! They say that teeth set me to be cutest. But I swear I find it ugly especially when I take pictures smiling with my teeth shown. Thus, I always have pictures taken without showing my teeth. Lol!

As my determination grew more, I wanted to get my braces done as soon as possible before Hari Raya this year. Lol! So, I book an appointment at a dental in Holland V, since JM told me I have to get a dental close to me or along the way because it is a tiring process to visit the dentist for tightening & etc especially for every appointment, if the dental is far.

But I find Holland V to be a little bit too pricey which almost can cost me up to 6K for the braces which doesn't include X-ray, extraction, retainers and etc in the braces package. So I had the appointment cancel.

Alhamdulilah! I stumble upon Facebook regarding a Dental at Harbourfront which have done a number of braces. They were having a promotion price of braces for Ceramic braces nett at 3.6K with retainers, extraction and x-rays inclusive up till July.

So I decided to ask some questions which I find the braces price the most reasonable one from almost 30 dentals that I went to survey in. And then, right of the back, I book an appointment with them which was TODAY.

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Braces Journey 1:-

My appointment was at 11am which I came right on the dot of 1100 hours, I thought I wanted to reach there earlier but I kind of lost my way while heading to look for the dental. Well, nothing is new when it comes to me and directions. We NEVER get along.

After locating the dental, I waited about half an hour before I was called in for consultation. As I was seated outside I realised the dentist was a Malay male doctor. Firstly, I never find it comfortable if a doctor that is consulting me is of the same race as me and especially if he is a male. Don't ask me why, I'm not sure myself too. Lol! Secondly, my heart was thumping quite fast. Like I said, I didn't like visiting the dentist plus needles.

I used to like doing scaling and polishing and not even now anymore, because my teeth are sensitive and it's PAINFUL when those are done.

But fret not, the doctor was really nice and I did not regret! I had my fears and uneasiness leashed off. Lol! Plus it didn't feel like as if I was at the dentist at all! I really like the environment. The staff are all so friendly and it is just a welcoming environment when you step inside.

Consultation,

Photos of my tooth was taken. I realised I had one decay tooth and they had to clean it up for me before putting on the braces. Doctor said my case isn't a very difficult one compared to some others and he can try to get braces-fix on me as soon as possible, before the fasting month and that's the best part.

I was just planning to get my braces on before the fasting month and Hari Raya especially. Can you imagine doing braces during the fasting month? Batal kay puasa.

After taking pictures of the tooth, my clay tooth model was made. I was made to bite into the clay thingy to get the shape of my teeth implanted. Lol!


I remembered mine tasted like a bland Grape taste? Or maybe I was just hallucinating it to be bland grape since it was purple in colour. Haha! The top set of teeth clay modelling was fine but the bottom one was a bit too painful for me and almost put me into tears. And it felt like my whole teeth will just get yank out from my mouth, the moment the clay was pulled-forced off my teeth. Hahaha!

I I didn't realise the process of doing braces is just ugly. They keep asking me to open my mouth, close my mouth, take pictures of my jaw blah blah blah and insert bits of pieces of thingy inside my mouth to get a good model of your teeth. Lol! It is just so UNGLAM and I just cannot picture how ugly my face will look like. Zzz!

After which an X-ray was taken and I was pretty sure of the wisdom tooth that needs to get extracted. Thank you to JM for sharing me her braces experience. Thus, I was rather prepared and more knowledgeable of the process of putting on braces.

So 2 of my bottom wisdom tooth needs to get extracted, either before or at the end of the braces process, Doctor said. But Doctor said, he can do it for me after the process of braces is completed. I wish I could suggest to remove my top wisdom tooth as well since it serve no purpose but I forgot to ask. Zzz!

And that is how basically my wisdom tooth looks like, slanted.

I never thought I had any wisdom tooth ever because I remember people usually say you'll get fever and pain from growing wisdom tooth. But I never experience one before and suddenly, without me knowing it, I had wisdom. Boy, I am so proud of myself, NOT. Since it grew in such a way. Haiyaz!

After everything, I was left with the hygienist to get my teeth clean, polish and filled. I had 2 jabs given on my gum as well as my hard palate, just to numb the area before starting to clean the decay part of the tooth. Because the decay is quite deep, so the cleaning up process might be painful for me. The numbing part of course, needles and injection at the hard palate was painful but with such nice hygienist, it lift it up the pain. Told you, everyone was so friendly that it didn't feel like I was at the dentist at all.

Everything took about like 1 hour an a half?

After payment, they had this consultation who showed me people who basically have the same problem like me and their process of doing the braces before getting a new set of aligned teeth. He even told me to be mentally prepared before braces-fix and to get a good heavy breakfast. Sounds scary? Haha!

And my next appointment would be in 2 weeks time, whereby I am required to extract 4 tooth and probably to start on my braces. Oh well, this is getting exciting but Mama just cringe when I told her at the end of the process I'll be extracting 6 tooth altogether. But JM extracted 8 at one shot okay. That girl is even power.

So, whatever it is braces. Please have mercy on me. Please be nice, please be gentle. I have such low tolerance level towards pain especially when it involves teeth, dentist and mouth. HAHA!

Till here, need to get a good sleep and rest.
 Having slight fever.Smiley

XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni 

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

Advanced Immunology

Dear Diary,

I cannot stand it. My brain is about to burst any moment, any seconds from now on. I just dislike the fact how my school put 2 very difficult modules examinations back to back from each other for this semester. Omigod!

I really need some mercy on my hands and brain especially. I am going to take this short break to just blog something, what I felt. This gives me the motivation somehow to carry on. It's my last paper for today, so Alhamdulilah.

Not that I'm really forward much to school holidays because my dissertation is just floating at the back of mind asking me to quickly start on it. I have basically 3 months left. Oh boy.

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So yesterday, I was writing my exam script. I had like 7 more pages of information to basically still write but I was already rushing for time because I only had HALF AN HOUR left to complete. It is quite IMPOSSIBLE when you think about it, to finish within half an hour with 7 full of information to write.

My hands were already screaming to stop because I had already written 10 pages before that. I was there, almost giving up. I just wanted to submit just 10 pages of what I had written, which means I only submit Question 2 with just half-written answer.

As I kept writing, I realised I had like less than half an hour left and I still had 5 more pages left to write. I wanted to cry but like D said, crying won't change anything. But how do you make the impossible, possible? How do I even manage to finish it on time?

Rushing through of course, with my handwriting barely looks like my own handwriting, more like a Doctor's handwriting. Haha! But I saw my both my parents face. That was what push me through. I don't want to disappoint them in any way that I do things usually. Not that I am perfect, I do disappoint them at times, we humans ain't perfect.

And yes, I may be the one paying the whole course of this Degree, but seeing me graduate with a Mortar board have been something that my Dad especially wanted to see ever since we were young.

So with just less half an hour left, I finished the whole paper. 17 pages, OLA! I even had like 2-3 minutes left to just check whatever I wrote, some missing sentence, words etc.

And this won't be possible without Him as well. Remember, everything is possible with Allah. If He say, you'll succeed, you'll succeed. If He say, it is not for you, it is not for you. Whatever it is, always remember to make Doa. Insyaallah, if God's willing.

Today is my last paper and I am making Doa for myself too. =( I keep forgetting information and I have only today to study. This is ridiculous because I was down with a slight fever yesterday and even if I try to study, it will only make me worse.

I hope I will remember what I'm supposed to remember and I hope Allah will ease my hardship upon writing my exam script and finish it on time. Amin.

XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni 

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Pre-Exam Violent.

Dear Diary,

On study break.

Little conversation I had with my classmate the other day at Vaish wedding,

Eileen: How u guys study one? I need to study last minute one, then I will remember better
Isaac: Most of the time I usually write notes on the computer and then print out and study or memorize. You leh?
Alvin: I also same.
Azie: I cannot. I need to WRITE down my notes. When I write down I remember better and then I need to highlight also. After that I will use recycle paper to re-write important notes. Sometimes, I use photographic memory to remember the coloured notes.
Alvin: I always will slap my hand hard if I happen to forget what I remember.
Azie: O_o?! So violent.
Alvin: Hahahaha.
Azie: Okay, next time I try that. I'll slap myself if I don't remember anything.
Isaac: Die. Later you come exams here and there blue black.
Azie: HAHAHAHA!

All the best to all that is sitting for the exams later on, especially to me. I really need this the most. HAHA!

XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

I HATE relationship.

Dear Diary,

I HATE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP.

I HATE the fact of liking/loving someone but only to left alone to die or think that you are the only loving.

I HATE how much you end up giving your all but only to be taken granted for.

I HATE the fact of being abandon for days without any clue to anything.

I HATE how much you get used to the texting and calling and then the loss feeling you have to deal with once everything is gone.

I HATE how much I feel attached to the one I love but you only turn out to be just an option in their life.

I HATE the fact how I am supposed to pretend that everything is alright despite being so hurt deep inside.

I HATE how I end up crying myself to sleep, tearing each time because it hurts, really hurt so bad.

I HATE how I actually tried to open myself up but end up having to be broken-hearted all over again.

I HATE how I tried to learn to trust once more but only to be fooled once again.

I HATE how much when you pretend nothing happen and I have to act like it wasn't affecting me one bit.

I HATE how much it all of these remind me nothing but my history after history, my past after past.

I JUST HATE BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP!

XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni 

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

My Stupid Thoughts.

Dear Diary,

After so long, I FINALLY took a step forward with life, trying to move on and put the past behind me. But I guess I was wrong. The past followed me after. This thing that I am most afraid of, it follows me like how a shadow does.

Just as I thought I was this happy and blessed Princess drown in my own fairytale with my own Prince charming. Just as I thought everything seems to be going okay and alright now. Just as I thought finally someone who can love me for who I am. Just as I thought I finally had my doubts gone. Just as I thought someone who would treasure and not take me for granted. Just as I thought I could open up myself and let my guard down to love again. Just as I thought I could learn to love and trust again. Just as I thought someone would not leave me alone on the bad days. Just as I thought my happily ever after, thick & thin is here. Just as I thought I could have someone to call my own. Just as I thought I could have someone that I could be proud of. Just as I thought it was Mr. Right all along. Just as I thought I was special. Just as I thought someone who would deserve my all. Just as I thought..

Just as I thought...

Just as I thought...

Just as I thought...

Just me and my STUPID thoughts.

For the how many countless times. Why am I not able to see or differentiate between someone who would love me and someone who is there just to fool me?!

Oh well, I'm just a fool myself. And being a fool doesn't help me one tiny bit to differentiate of getting fool around, bullied around, taken for granted of.

Stupid fool, I deserve this entirely. This is good, right on my examination period. This just have to happen again and again and again.

Do I not deserve to be happy? At least, for once. ='(

XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni