All I want for My Birthday was YOU.

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2349 hours

Dear diary,

If you realized I love changing lyrics to suit my feelings using the same song. =) I sang this on my Birthday. If you know what I had to go through on that day, just had to share it!

I don't want a lot for Christmas My Birthday.

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas HDB tree

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas My Birthday

Is youuuuuu…

I don't want a lot for Christmas My Birthday.

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas HDB tree

I don't need to hang my stocking hanger

There upon the fireplace stove

Santa Claus The others won't make me happy

With a toy on Birth Christmas Day

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas My Birthday is you

You baby

Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas Birthday

I won't even wish for snow rain

And I'm just gonna keep on waiting

Underneath the mistletoe bedroom bed

I won't make a list and send it

To the North Pole Postbox for Saint Nick Postman

I won't even stay awake to

Hear those magic reindeer click sweet birthday song

'Cause I just want you here tonight

Holding on to me so tight

What more can I do?

Baby all I want for Christmas My Birthday is you

Youuuu….

Oh all the lights are shining

So brightly everywhere

And the sound of children's

Laughter fills the air

And everyone is singing

I hear those sleigh bells birthday ringing

Santa People won't bring me the one I really need?

Won't you please bring my baby to me?

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas My Birthday

This is all I'm asking for

I just want to see my baby

Standing right outside my door

Oh I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

Baby all I want for Christmas My Birthday is

you baby

All I want for Christmas My Birthday is you baby

All I want for Christmas My Birthday is you baby

All I want for Christmas My Birthday is you baby

---

And seriously, I don’t know why some people want to nab B away from me. Why people why?!!! What’s your freaking problem? =( I seriously can't afford to have another cold shoulder series anymore. The last time was already too much for me to handle and causes me loss of appetite. Not another round please. =(

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Asian Market Cafe

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2347 hours

Dear diary,

Some random catch up updates! =) Boss flew down from Swiss to Singapore on 14 Jun and each time when he flies down, he never forget to give us a little surprise. =) We had some products from the land of Switzerland!

Not forgetting having a little treat from the company, our little Company’s dinner. This time we break the chain from going to Straits Kitchen, Hyatt Hotel. Instead we try at a new place called the Asian Market Café, Fairmont Singapore.

It all depends on your liking but I somehow have find myself getting sick of the food at Straits Kitchen. I love it the first time and two there and when it comes to the third time, I just knew what was there and it was the same old thing I find. It all comes back to being a Gemini because we get sick of the same thing so easily but we love something NEW, something different, something to adventure. Haha!

And so yes, Asian Market Café was a new thing for me, for us. The buffet range is definitely not as much as the one at Straits Kitchen but of course the food was not bad. It’s definitely good to try new things, new food and new place sometimes. =)

Now let’s enjoy the food! I ate a lot since it was my first time there. I usually adventure on more food when I’m at somewhere new for the first time. Hehe! In order of the first food I took, to  the very last. 

Cheese & Egg prata!

Coconut Banana & Chocolate Pandan Mousse

More deserts

Vanilla & Chocolate Ice-cream with rainbows sprinkle

And I swear my stomach couldn’t take it anymore that I end up vomiting some of the food out. I sound super glutton, God forgive me!

Cheers people, cheers to my white wine. I WAS JUST KIDDING! I was particularly under dinner surveillance by my Manager, not to have such drink. Not that I want to drink any. It’s Apple Juice anyway! HEHE!

But all in all, I still love Carousel, Royal Plaza and find it the best among all! It’s definitely pricey but the desserts are just splendid. I think Carousel appeal more to the youngsters’ one compared to the non-youngsters, they will love Straits Kitchen.

Earlier part of the day when Manager cook for us Carrot Cake Cupcake and I couldn’t finish my lunch. Lol!

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Private & Peaceful Life

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 0009 hours

Dear diary,

Why does love have to hurt so much?

Isn’t it a wonderful thing for everyone to feel and enjoy at the same time? As years go by, instead of experiencing more love, I’m experiencing nothing but more and more hurt each day. I don’t know how love is for you or anyone out there but my love is different.

I love you so much that sometimes I feel I can be a bit selfish myself. I wouldn’t want to “share” you with anyone else. And sometimes, I do have my I-don’t-trust-you moment as well as my insecurity days especially when PMS strikes me really bad.

I wish I could really knock my head really hard when this happen! But I really have a strong possession over things that I own or I call just for myself. Yes, B could have his flaws too but I’m not undermining mine as well.

And please don’t use the word ‘Control’ on me because trust me, that is not what I’m trying to do. I don’t control people life because even my own life is out of control.

The reason is you,

1) I don’t understand last minute plan. You want to plan something exciting, fun or interesting with your friends, cousins or whoever it is, do it in advance or inform in advance. Not something you have always planned to go out with your girlfriend on almost every weekend when suddenly a last minute FUN thing pop out for you and you cancel your outings with your girlfriend. I mind, unless it’s something really important or serious. Other than that I call that, “FALSE ALARM” = EMPTY PROMISES.

2) If you are out with your friends, cousins or just whoever it is. Could you just at least make an effort to text or call? JUST MAKE AN EFFORT is the word. Not leave your pathetic girlfriend waiting for your text and call and be gone like as if you were kidnap or something bad happened to you. Yes, we do give that freedom to you for all you care but you, yourself DO YOUR PART to text or at least call. I don’t know how other girlfriends do their thing but I do give a text or call if I’m running late or whatsoever just to inform and keep the other half occupied. Come on, you ditch her for someone else in the first place, so MAKE IT UP FOR IT and not make her feel lonely especially when ALL her family members are out and she is the only pathetic soul at home.

3) And worst, please don’t use that kind of strict tone when on phone or one word, one word when texting when you’re out with your friends, cousins or just whoever it is. Because instead of making things feel better, you’re making things worse.

4) B wants to become an actor so much. I seriously don’t mind at all and I would want to give my fullest support I can but I’ve seen MANY out there who forget who they are when they become big. They let fame get on their head and forget who they are eventually. They even forget that ONE WOMAN who stood by them during their infamous days till they become big. B said he promise he won’t let such things happen to him if he ever make it big one day because he is so in love with me. I just have one word for that and it’s called “BULLSHIT”. I don’t trust this thing anymore because I HAVE SEEN REALITY.

Maybe they said it wasn’t their fate to be together with their girlfriends since Jodoh Allah S.W.T yang tentukan. But it has always been fame that allows these people to go through a process call break up and end up with another soul. I’m not trying to judge but just look at Fauzie Laily, Mawi, Norman Hakim, Kris Dayanti and blah blah blah. Yes it’s true, if Allah S.W.T says B and I aren’t fated to be together, we won’t but I am not letting fame get into my relationship seriously.

Plus B cannot stand seeing my guy friends taking pictures with me and what makes me stand to the part seeing random (is the word) woman out there taking pictures with him. It’s a big no no! I just don’t like the idea of having to “share” my boyfriend around. I really don’t like it so much!

I trust B won’t allow such things to affect our relationship but it’s those random woman I don’t trust out there because for God sake, muka handsome ke tak handsome, as long as they got the fame, these woman will do ANYTHING! I tell you ANYTHING! How low they can stand just to “be” with these boys, I swear. And me being me, I won’t sit and stare at things to let it all happened right before my eyes. So, before people label B having such a lioness girlfriend, I hope he don’t even bother trying to be one.

I just want to lead a private and peaceful life that’s all.

Sometimes, I don’t think I make sense especially when my tooth is hurting and I’m feeling all so ‘_________’ up.

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Twelve Cupcakes

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2343 hours

Dear diary,

Today was definitely an enjoyable day to me despite my whole leg is aching like crazy. I walked the whole day of today, mostly.

After B sends his brother off to China, he met me for an early breakfast at McD. He had breakfast deluxe while I just had a $1.50 Chicken Muffin. I couldn’t finish it and so B helped me with it.

We headed to JCube Shopping Mall after breakfast to check out the new mall. They had this Ice Skating range inside the mall which is super cool! The thought of ice skating sound easy to me since I roller blade, but after looking at how these people were initially taught on the basic ice skating rules and regulations as well as basic ice skating skills, I think twice. HAHA! People do fall like a rotten papaya I swear! But I don’t mind trying! =) One day.

And I can never feel much bless, thank you Allah S.W.T! Remember those days when I was pretty upset because B wasn’t able to accompany to the Army Open House? I have no idea but they had a NS showcase over at Jurong East today. It wasn’t as big as the Army Open House showcase but definitely it was plenty. So, I get to accomplish my so called wish to go to the “Army Open House” showcase with B.

Oh, they had performance too by Civil Defence singing group. (I don’t know what they call themselves) And Sleeq as well as Farhan Shah was there as well! So cute and good looking dahhh. Okay enough!

Next stop was to Bugis, I wanted to get some more clothes and dresses for myself. It has been long since I last shop for myself! Ended up to Bugis + after that 1 hour plus of walking around, and oh it’s no longer called Illuma probably because it sounded like Illuminati. I’m just kidding!

Did I mention we went to get Twelve Cupcakes as well as Durian Strudel for desserts! Hehe! And sadly when I reach home, I have no freaking idea why but I went to search online regarding Twelve Cupcakes and guess what I found? It’s not Halal! Yes, it doesn’t contain any pork or lard in it but it has 35% ethyl alcohol in it which means there’s alcohol inside.

Since I didn’t know just now, God forgive me. And Twelve cupcakes, this will be the first & the last time I ever eat you. But goshhhhh! You’re so so so nice! Looks like I have to bake them on my own if I feel like eating one. So sad!

Till here.

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

From the bottom of my broken heart

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 1743 hours

Dear diary,

I finally got the time to blog. Been very busy sending mom for her treatment and she was caught with fever recently that we had to rush her off to the hospital. Thank you Allah S.W.T, mom is fine right now. Alhamdulilah! Amin! :)

And I have been feeling really really down myself. I have no freaking idea, it’s like I’m going through depression.

Love, literally the one you love besides your family. Your other half, your so-called soul mate.

Love can give you that butterfly feelings in your stomach, definitely one of the thing that could brighten up your day especially when you’re feeling down. Just the look at his face, his smile, his actions just being with him, makes you happy. The feeling so special, being loved by the one you love.

But what happens when the love that was supposed to make you smile with joy, a sense of happiness, slowly turn itself away from you? What do you do now? You started feeling things are different now, no longer the same like it used to be. You tried so hard to make it work, you sacrifice every single thing, sacrifice a lot to an extent that people say it’s the stupidest thing you ever done. You still do it because you are afraid of losing him.

Upon that, you’re always being look down on even though people think you’re far away much better than him. You are being taken for granted, not even a single time you feel appreciated for all the things that you have done. What happened when you wish that your other half would realize that you have done so much for him but he just couldn’t see it? What happen when he thinks that no matter what good you do for him, so much you try, it’s always wrong in his eyes and never good enough? What happen dear Allah? What happen now? =’(

I wish things were much easier, so that I could leave that part of me away. I seriously wish! Because it’s just too much pain for me to carry, just so much. I was hoping things could be easier with you but I was wrong. 

And if I have one wish for my Birthday, I would seriously want Allah S.W.T to numb my heart and anesthetize my brain.  Sincerely, from the bottom of my broken heart.

Princessazie Bella Elena Gilbert):