My Bridal Part 2

Dear Diary,

Last week I headed to my bridal again for the 2nd outfit selection. But now, I have everything nice to say about it. Hehehe! We were supposed to do the outfit selection on a weekend but I figure weekends will be busy for them, since I guess people who work office hours would prefer weekends appointment and they will have lesser time to "entertain" this fickle-minded girl. So I decided to do it on a weekdays instead. Still, we had to change to another weekday appointment from the first one because D has been OT-ing quite a bit.

I was afraid V would be annoyed at us because we kept changing the outfit selection appointment and we were planning to change our photoshoot date (after Hari Raya) as well. Hurhur! But thankfully V was very nice to us, to me. She even call me 'sayang' when texting me the other day (because they had to change our final fitting day a day earlier from the day we wanted) but I was contented.

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I took half-day from work and D drove on that day. So he fetched me from work and drove down to where my bridal was located. Honestly, I was feeling slightly afraid that I might feel like how I felt during my first outfit selection but on a second note, I was ready to "brave through the storm." In any case, if anything not nice remarks were thrown at me, I'm going to be strong and just put on a deaf hear. HAHAHA!

But that day, everything was different......

The moment we reached their doorstep, V greeted us nicely. She asked me if I was feeling better and have a much clearer mind today compared to the previous day. I answered her 'hopefully'. We sat down and she asked me what kind of gowns or outfit I was looking for, for the photoshoot. I came prepared actually. A week before, I did my own research. I look through their website, their Instagram, their Facebook and even stream their videos to screenshot and select a few gowns that I prefer.

V was being very patience with me on that day, she told me to walk around to see which gown catches my eyes and D followed me too. Our package consist of 3 outfits for indoor photoshoot and 1 outfit for outdoor photoshoot. I have settle for one indoor outfit - traditional baju songket on the last appointment and thus, I'm left with 3 more outfits - 2 indoors and 1 outdoor.

All the gowns were big and flairs. There were just too many gowns there that I just couldn't decide right off the closet. So, I gave up and showed V pictures instead, of some of the gowns that I have already screenshot in my phone and this part of her I must praise. V knows her things well. One look at the 'white dress' that I showed her from my screenshot, she knew what dress I wanted and where exactly the dress was hang and took it down for me to see. Initially, I thought she wouldn't allow me to try because she was like "Confirm ah this dress?" And I don't want to sound very difficult, so I said "Yes confirm!". Then the best part came when she brought the dress to the fitting room and say "Later I let you try the gown." And asked me what other more outfit I wanted since I have 2 more outfits to choose for the photoshoot - 1 indoor outfit and 1 outdoor outfit.

No idea why but I'm always attracted to white gowns and white wedding outfit, probably because they always look nice and elegant, I look at another white but D was like "B, no more white eh. Semua baju you ambil white. Pick other colours lah at least." So bye bye white  and I picked 2 other wedding gowns in 2 different colours. A royal blue and a pink. So happy with the gown that I let go one of my traditional baju for the indoor photoshoot for a wedding gown.  I was happy with my royal blue gown, it was a bustier dress. You should seen on V's face when I picked that dress, she was like "This one tube dress tau." Because she knows D was very conservative much. Lolols! Sadly, the dress couldn't be brought out for outdoor photoshoot because it's long and heavy. I was feeling slightly disappointed at that point of time because I have already set my mind on it and would really love to wear the royal blue dress for my outdoor photoshoot. Unfortunately, you don't always get what you want.

I then had trouble choosing the last outfit for the outdoor photoshoot because basically all the outfit I shortlisted were for indoor photoshoot, they were the long and heavy kinds.  Some colours for the outdoor outfit were not very much to my liking and they have many outdoor photoshoot gown in white ones which D told me 'No more white' and as much as possible to go for other colours since I already picked 2 whites. So I picked one 'red' gown out of curiosity and V asked me if I wanted to try it on, even though I don't really like the colour 'red' for a photoshoot since it's a bit too Chinese-y but I was left with no choice.

My favourite colour has always been red but I guess as I grow older, red doesn't seems to be my favourite colour of dressing anymore but when I tried on the gown and seeing myself in 'red', I some sort like it. And the good thing the 'red' gown could be interchangeable into a bustier dress or you can wear a lace over to make it look less sexy. LOL! V was suggesting the lace because she knows D is a conservative about my clothing. But for some reason, D allow me to wear it without the lace for the outdoor photoshoot since he said it's going to be hot and he doesn't want me to feel uncomfortable. Hooray!

And while I was busy trying out on the gowns with V inside the changing room, D was already being very "helpful" to himself with the blazers on the open closet. He was already so busy choosing the different blazers to match my gown and looking at the mirror. Hahahaha! V whispered to me while in the changing room telling me D is busy choosing blazers for himself which is probably the reason why he is being slightly "lenient" for me to wear the bustier dress and "can't be bothered" on my dressing today. LOL!

After the selection, we sat down and V took our measurement. At this very moment, I have finally brace through the favourite part of my wedding process. Alhamdulilah! V also said she will just adjust the 'red' gown's lace to my measurement for me in case last minute D or I wanted the lace on during the photoshoot. HAHAHA! Probably hinting to D's leniency that day which could change during the photoshoot day and my fickle-mindedness. Lol!

Came back home feeling happy on that day. V was very patience with me and I got what I wanted except not feeling very much content with the red dress but it's alright. It looks pretty somehow. And my late mom always say "Orang kalau dah cantik, pakai apa pun tetap cantik."

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Feeling curious what red gown my sister wore during her photoshoot since she also wore one red gown and we took the same bridal, I told her to send me her photoshoot pictures and guess what? We chose the SAME red gown. HAHAHAHA!

After that my thoughts are filled with if I should change to another wedding gown or should I just leave it as it is? Hmmm... Till here. See you bridal again in 2 months time!!

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥

Ayer Hitam

Dear Diary,

Last week weekend D's family and I headed to Ayer Hitam, JB intention to look for our berkat and other wedding necessities there. It was sweet on his family side to bring me along as well since there is no one in my family particularly could drive me there and since I am the ONLY person who settle almost everything about my wedding - ON MY OWN. Haiz!

It was a long drive to the place but of course not that long compared heading to KL by car. Probably about an hour and a half long drive. And we stopped in between places for toilet break and breakfast before reaching our destination. D's parents and sister had prata while D had Nasi Lemak and I had rice + asam pedas + spinach and kalian vegetables for myself. I THINK his family probably looked at me slightly surprised, probably thinking that I could really eat. =X But...that's just me in the morning, I usually have super heavy breakfast and slow down on lunch and nothing or probably as light as drinking just a glass of milk for dinner.

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Ayer Hitam, JB

Upon reaching, I was so happy to see the whole stretch filled with wedding stuff. From your gubahan (wedding tray), bunga pahar, sirih dara and sirih junjung deco etc etc etc and definitely wedding favours which can be bought at a much much cheaper price there. Considering the RM rate VS sgd rate now, so why not.

We walked down the stretch of shops when one shop caught his parents' attention (no apparent reason) and so we went in. Just happened, everything they wanted can be found in that shop and we decided to buy everything from that one shop. The tactic is:- The more you buy, the more you can bargain, the lesser you pay, hopefully.

I realized it says no camera but I kinda snap the photos already. =X Hehehe!

Ayah has already decided to give 'Telur asin' (Salted egg) as my wedding favours. Egg is really the traditional and classic kind of wedding favour which I love about and it also signifies fertility. Examples of different 'Egg wedding favors'

 

 

Cute rightttt?

While, D parents decided to give a more practical favour on his side - a towel. Examples of 'Towel wedding favors'

 

 

I wanted to give towel too initially but a lot of my colleagues doesn't really fancy towels because they said they have too many towels at home. Lol! So I decided not to give them something they don't want, afraid they will dump it away.  I really want to give something that people would use/like/eat.

Anyway, D's parents bought 700 of those towels which was pre-packed nicely in a cute little box (really) and stuffed everything inside the car. It was funny how we came empty handed and headed back home full with stuff inside the car that we can't even see our face. Lol! I bought another wedding favours just for my non-muslim friends and other friends, who prefer to have things that they can 'keep' to remember my wedding day because some of my friends are sentimental like that.  They said if they received food favours, once it's consumed, it will be gone and nothing to be remembered of. But for us Malay/Muslim people who have always attended weddings, we usually prefer food favors because we don't want it to be space consuming and to collect dust at home. But to each its own, so I have 3 favours altogether to cater to people wants.

I went to Larkin, JB as mentioned the other time and I bought Hand fans. I think its quite practical since Singapore is so hot nowadays and I've seen many people carry hand fans everywhere. Examples of 'Hand fan wedding favor'

 

 

Pretty designs aren't they?

I wanted to get more hand fans because the last time I didn't buy much of it but sadly, Ayer Hitam doesn't carry anymore hand fan.  I wanted to get 'Coasters' as the next option BUT they don't carry coasters as well. So I had to look for another option for wedding favour. This time something else caught my eyes and I found it quite practical as well,

 

 

Tadaaaaa! No amount of fork and spoon is ever enough? Lol! To those friends who don't prefer to carry hand fans around (probably guys especially), they can bring home this. Hehehehe!

Okay, the slightly complicated part comes in when I have to distribute the wedding favours on the wedding day itself, because not everybody will get the egg, the hand fan and the fork+spoon. I have to find ways on how to distribute the wedding favors to the right person. But Insyaallah, I'll get my Bridesmaid to help me with that. Sorry Bridesmaid, you all cannot just sit down and look pretty, everybody's gotta work, work, work and help, help, help around. Hehehe!

Uh, the many beautiful bunga pahar that was available there. This is only a few of them. They have a lot of it! Different colours that I wish I could buy ALL of it.

Not bad right the price? And I should have bought 2 boxes lahhh. Tsk!

We even ordered Sirih Dara and Sirih Junjung there as well and to be collected only by next week. And Ayah wasn't too please that our sirih was actually plastic. =X Because my dad is more of the traditional kind whereas D's parents said, nowadays nobody eat sirih, thus, plastic ones will do. Hurhur! But I'll look into it how, I'll try to learn if I can make one because I still remember that I actually did Adik's sirih dara 2 years ago during her wedding. I remembered some of my superstitious auntie was telling me not to touch it. According to them 'Anak dara cannot do sirih dara' BUT...Mama was terribly sick on that day, she was lying down fighting and battling her cancer pain and Mak long was doing the sirih dara all alone by herself. I couldn't help it, so I just put on a deaf hear and helped Mak Long with Adik's sirih dara.

All in all, we were supposed to head to another place to look for many other wedding stuff but due to the many amount of loots we bought back, we decided to just head home. Lol! So people, if you have a car or a vehicle to travel to the other side of Malaysia to look for wedding stuff at a cheaper price - Ayer Hitam is the answer to your everything. But you really have to bargain your way (which is what D's mom did and she is really good at bargaining. Lol!) because they know a lot of Singaporeans come over to buy from them. Alternatively, Larkin (Joo Bee) shop too.

Haiz! Even blogging about this Ayer Hitam place makes me want to go back there again because I still have many things to buy but sadly, I have no vehicle to travel there....  And I don't want to trouble D's parents anymore.

Till here people.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥

Tired of Everything

Dear Diary,

2 months plus to go before the wedding and honestly I'm at this rate now...

Sometimes I really wonder am I the only BTB who doesn't enjoy this whole wedding process? I don't know why everyone keep telling me to enjoy the whole wedding preparations process because one day, after everything is over, I will start to miss my wedding and the whole wedding process. I wish I can say the same one day in the future, but right now, I'm not too sure about that. I just want things to be OVER soon. I can no longer take it anymore that I'm close to almost dying. Maybe I'm exaggerating when I say dying but yeah, it feels like one.

Maybe things are harder for me because I'm doing everything without a mom, without my mom.

Sometimes I ask myself why do I have to get married without my mom and only after when she's gone but who am I to question my fate, my path that has already been written by Allah SWT, His Qada' and Qadr. As much as I think I'm dying or I can no longer take it anymore, a slight shine of light in my heart always know that deep down, Allah SWT will never test me or put me through an obstacles heavier than what my shoulder could carry. For that, I always keep pushing hard and press on in life.

I have many doubts.

Many questions left unanswered.

Worries after worries.

---

I hate you for everything, for causing my life in such a way.
I wouldn't have to be in this spot if it isn't because of you.
I hate you.
I hate to see your face.
and
I truly hate you.

Kifarah.

Dear Diary,

My late grandmother has always preach this phrase into her kids and so Mama did the same thing to us, to me.

"Biar orang buat kita jangan kita buat orang."

I am the kind of person who doesn't really understand much when older people try to tell me stuff but I always know somehow there are reason and consequences behind it when people tell you things like that. I am the kind who is always afraid of consequences.

One example would be education. How my parents always forced us to study hard and beat us into studying, so that we don't regret it in the near future. I hate studying and I wish I don't even have to go to school, I never understand why is school that important BUT...fearing consequences, I'd study and in the end when I finish Polytechnic and my Degree, I finally understood why. To get good jobs etc.

Another example would be people always tell me to always never hurt your parents' feelings because one day your children will do the same thing to you. I don't have children yet but I'm afraid of such consequences ever happening to me, so I don't wish to do things like that to my parents and I try my best to please them whatever ways I can.

Some people learn the hard way, like they have to go through hardship and then they change. Example failing in life and pick themselves up to be successful etc. Whereas I'm the kind who'd rather listen and stay on the safer side.

At the age I am now, I've learnt and see many things in life. Things that are true about the many things my parents & late grandmother have said. My parents may not be all religious but they have always gave me words of advice and cultivate me with Islamic teachings too and also from experience to shape me into a better person I am today. And for that, I am always thankful.

We've seen how religious parents can sometimes even fail to bring up their children to at least be-human. So sometimes, it does pisses me off when people who are religious think they are better humans then people who are less religious. We have even see people who never don on the hijab are actually better human beings than people who actually don on the hijab. Some who don't don on the hijab but always take their 5 times a day prayers seriously, while some who don, doesn't really much care about it. So who are we to judge? People always use remarks such as 'Don't use my hijab to criticize my character as I'm only human, I make mistake and I'm still learning His ways.' So it makes sense too, that you do not criticize people who do not don on the hijab and who are still learning as well. But to me, I bet to differ this sentence.

I know I'm going to create a lot of speculations with what I'm going to say now. But to me, when someone have already don on the hijab, means you're ready. Ready to be a better version of yourself. Yes, it does not mean you cannot make mistake, we can because we're only human. But at least, a better version of yourself. You do not criticize others, you don't look down on others and please try to avoid major sins as much as possible, you are an example to people out there.

My late mom always tell me, wearing a hijab symbolize many nice things. I remember once I wanted to don the hijab at a young age and Mama told me, "If you are going to laugh outside like a crazy woman with your friends and don't know how to behave yourself in public, then better not spoil the image of people wearing a hijab." Because people who wear hijab do not portray that kind of behaviour, it's embarrassing.

You've seen how many of our non-muslim asked us this question before?

"How come I see this tudung girl wear tudung but go clubbing?"

"How come I see this tudung girl wear tudung but drink?"

etc etc etc.

And does it stun you for a moment? Because to me, a person who wears the hijab should always try as much as possible to be a better version of themselves, not to the extend of looking down on others. It's different when people tell you, "Last time my friend used to have tattoo/drink/club but now she doesn't anymore, she has put on the tudung." Which we rarely hear.

I'm not going to give a hook to people who are going to criticize about my dressing, because if you do, it doesn't reflect me as a person, but you as a person who criticize.

---

And I just want to touch on how important it is to be nice to people, or at least try to be nice to people. This bring us back to what my heirloom 'line' is.

Never think what you've done bad to people, you can escape them. Yes, you may be rejoicing at that moment, thinking you can escape from everything at that point of time, but in the future, you'll never know what has been in store for you. Because Allah SWT always sees. Remember, the person who is suffering and dianiaya always have the upper hand. Their prayers are always well heard and well listen by the Almighty, by Allah SWT.

So you can choose to "destroy" someone life now but remember, at the end of the day, it's not me who you are dealing with. I can choose to take revenge but I've long let go of that side of Azie and I'm not like that anymore. I'll continue being nice for as long as I can be patience with, for as long as I live and I leave the rest to Allah SWT to take care of everything.

Kifarah.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥

My Bridal Part 1

Dear Diary,

*Disclaimer: Please take note. I am saying this based on my own experience. I am not asking anyone to not choose the same bridal as me because some people may or may not go through the same thing as me. Some may agree and may not agree with me. If you're decisive, chances are you'll be happy with my bridal and my bridal has a lot and many pretty outfits which I cannot deny that when you look, you just go crazy over it. And I'm not saying this to bring anyone down but solely just sharing on what I feel and had to go through. At the same time to keep BTB & GTB prepared and a clear mind of what to expect when you're there if you choose the same bridal as me. That's all. :) Happy choosing.

22 February 2017

Yesterday was our first bridal outfit selection. I was feeling both excited and scary at the same time. Excited because of all the wedding preparation process, this is my most favourite I would say. I bet, this is the most favourite part of every BTB. For me, I want to look nice and beautiful on my wedding day, of course, we all do. Scary because I have a problem with decision making, not say problem, but I am quite fickle and I usually take a long time to choose something that I want. (Hint: Engagement ring & Wedding band) But all in all, despite my fickleness, everyone has been quite patience in my process of choosing the things that I want, EXCEPT my bridal.

Let's side track a little bit on my Post-wedding photoshoot:-

We received a call yesterday from our bridal saying that they had to cancel our post-wedding photoshoot on the day we have chosen which is 2 days after our wedding day and postpone it to another day. The reason being because 'somebody' else (some bride & groom whom I basically don't know who lah eh) 😔 already booked a flight ticket for them to fly off to somewhere to do their wedding photoshoot overseas. I was slightly (I can still use slightly for this) upset about that because we have already booked the date with the bridal FIRST yet they decided to change ours last minute just like that? They even said, that the 'somebody' have already booked the flight ticket for them and the 'somebody' cannot change the flight ticket to some other day. Well, is that my problem? That 'somebody' also gong is it?! You didn't ask for an available slot first with the bridal at which date they are available and you just booked? Nonsense! So, is my bridal telling me that D and I are not your priority? But overseas shoot are just because they pay more and we don't? But we are also your customer and we are also paying. Nevermind about that.

They then decided to push our photoshoot a week later, by then, it's already the fasting month. Because we decided to get married a week before Ramadhan (fasting month), at the same time it is also my birthday week/month. Plus, I don't want to do a post-wedding photoshoot after the fasting month or during the Hari Raya month. My conscience are very clear, I want my henna stain to still be visible on the wedding photoshoot (which is what Mama always preferred) and when Hari Raya comes, it'll be a month plus after the wedding. Yes I can be quite "determined" in a sense if I want something, I will want it. Furthermore, D and I  are probably tired to repeat the whole process of our wedding and at the same time, the excitement has already gone by then and we will be the pengantin basi kind. So nevermind, we didn't want to be that difficult and still decided to settle for a week after our wedding day during the fasting day just to get it over and done with and to be accommodative about it. K.

But the part the annoys me the most was during the bridal selection day. It pisses me off somehow, really.

I've heard from some of my friends that some and their bridal, well most bridal are accommodative and patience enough by allowing them to try on most of their wedding outfit there. But my bridal, no. When I was there, the lady, V (I don't want to name her but let's call her V) initially showed me her ipad on the different kind of songket they have for sanding (during the wedding reception day on a Sunday), basically all the design are their newly launch design/outfit. She then asked me what kind of sanding outfit that I wanted. She asked me if I wanted the modern songket or traditional songket. This is my FIRST time wedding, well it's always our FIRST wedding anyway right for most of us, I asked her what's the difference between the modern & traditional songket. V took out the modern songket from their newly launch collection kind for me to try and leave the traditional ones. So, okay. I just let it go. She then asked me what colour I wanted, fair enough, I told her I wanted to see both the Red & Green ones since I have 4 outfits altogether. And she took 2 green outfits and 2 red outfits from the modern songket new collections. So D asked, is this all the red & green that you have? And she said yes. Tsk! My sister wore a different kind of green for her wedding (same bridal) and V didn't even take out those for us to see. Since I was having a hard time deciding, V allow me to put on the outfit to try and asked D to snap a picture, so that I can choose them easily when seeing the picture. Luckily, all their newly launch collection songket is super super pretty. So I can just keep one eye close about not seeing the traditional songket kind. But then, the difficult part when I became so fickle about deciding which modern songket I want out of all the ones I tried. I can't decide to have the red or green for Saturday or Sunday, either one I'm confused because both are pretty looking. And of course I wanted the Sunday outfit to be the nicest one among all because that is where all my guests are present.

I tried 2 green songket - G1 & G2.
And another 2 red songket - R1 & R2

The G1 colour of the songket really makes it look wow and unique with the guy outfit in green too. The R1 outfit is wow too but the R1 ones is more of grey and the guys outfit is not in red but grey. Tsk! I also want D to look good leh, I don't want him to be in dull grey colour but no choice, the R1 for the female outfit is more wow than the G1. I tried another green, G2 that has a slight of blue colour with silver sparkling glitters and that outfit was nice too and I'd thought it could be for my sanding and the G1 for the Saturday night, then the R1 for my photo shoot since it looks very good in their pictures on the ipad. R2 was a no no for D, it was a mermaid kind and he said it looks not nice. Lol! Furthermore, he said that colour is more orangey than red.

When D direct V that I wanted R1 for photoshoot, G1 for Saturday and G2 for Sunday, she went, "Huh? Now both green for Saturday and Sunday? I thought you want one green and one red?" I could hear her say from the fitting room and so I was like "Yeahs eh, 2 of the same colour on the same day, so boring." So I decided to swop outfits in my head. I keep thinking how wow R1 is for people to see yet I want green colour on my sanding day, so I kept going back and forth on all those 3 outfits between which one to wear for Saturday, Sunday and for the photo shoot. Until I finally make a decision because V looked rather annoyed. K. So, settle on the sanding part.

Now comes choosing the outfit for the nikah (solemnization) part, V asked me what colour I wanted for nikah and of course, I wanted white since it symbolize purity, we'd all prefer white. BUT...V only took out 2 outfits for me try on out of the many white they have. I tried between those 2 white of mermaid cutting - W1 & W2 and yet again I couldn't decide because I love the cutting of W1, as the mermaid cutting is nicer, it's plain white but the design details are only on the top chest area of the outfit, while W2 have not much detail but it's a lace overall. I have a hard time deciding because I'll be wearing hijab, so the details on W1 might not be able to be seen because the hijab might cover it and the lace would be preferably be nice since it's not so plain boring. But I love W1 cutting because it makes me look slimmer and nice? Lol! As much as I love W2, D then suggested W1 for me and I settled for that. Then while D was choosing his nikah outfit, I saw one of their mannequin wearing the same white mermaid cutting - W3. So I was telling D, how come V don't let me try this one too? It looks nice. So V said to me that I better stop seeing anymore outfit because I'm getting a little bit more confusing and it confuses her also. Like seriously?! When she said that, I felt quite offended. Yes, I may be a difficult person to make a decision BUT I have to make the right decision in choosing at least what I want. We only marry once, hopefully. V was reluctant to take that outfit off the mannequin but D went "Take it down for her to try lah." And V did, she tried somehow to accommodate and let me try. When I tried W3, I like it but the cutting is the same as W2. So I decided not to take W3 and you can see how V look at me like she went through the trouble of taking the outfit off the mannequin and I don't want it. (Lol! I seriously don't know whether I should laugh or to cry at this point.)

Moving on to the gown outfit. I have always known I wanted a slightly bare back dresses and flare kind, something like what Bella in Twilight wear (even though her dress is not flare) but of course, not too much bare back because D's parents are conservative like that. So, I told V, what I wanted and she asked me if I wanted tube dresses. Obviously no tube dresses. Then she was like "Then what you want?" So I explain to her again, something bare back but with laces on and she showed me one dress with short sleeve. I told her I don't want short sleeve (regret for not trying this outfit on, maybe it will look nice on me) but something with full lace long sleeve and she showed me that she has only one design like that. I tried the gown on and I immediately love it. But when D saw it, he was like "So revealing." To me it's not but he was afraid that his parents will kill him for that. My sister wore something of the same kind like mine and to me she look just fine, nice and not revealing. So, D told me to choose whatever I want and which I did, I settle for that gown. Besides I'm afraid to try anymore gown because afraid V will say anything and I was feeling the pressure and headache of making decision.

After settling the actual day outfit, I was told to choose my bouquet as it is complimentary with the package. Of course, I keep flipping the page back and forth, back and forth trying to match the flowers to all my 4 outfit, if it's too red then my flowers cannot be seen on my red outfit. Too white, then my white flowers cannot be seen on my white outfit. So while choosing V went "Want to choose flower also headache. Next time I tell my florist don't put so many design for you, the more design you have, the harder it is for you to choose." Wah! I feel so offended that I just decide to choose one bouquet with 3 colours in it and close the album. Then D asked me "Why never choose bouquet with only 2 colours in it?" I wanted to see the album again, but V told me not to see it anymore.

My face changed. D knew at that point of time I'm very upset, frustrated, annoyed just a lot of mixture of feelings in one.

I was supposed to choose 4 more outfits for my photoshoot but D asked V if we could do it another day after seeing me that way. Just to ease me and give me time from today's stress. V said she has all the time today if we want to do it today and don't mind also if we want to do it another day. I was like in my heart, "She say have a lot of time today but keep rushing me to make decision and get "annoyed" at me. Shouldn't she give me time to think at least?" I'd thought to myself that I better come another day, before I make a rash decision on my other 4 outfits. This time I will do a research on the outfit that they have on their website etc and show them what I want. According to my sister , the bridal always expect you to know what you want when you're there, to make things easier but sadly, I don't and am not like that. Besides I also don't care what they want to think of me, if I'm being difficult or not etc, it's my wedding day, I'm paying and I just want to look my best.

After I left the bridal, I cried. I cried just outside the bridal for feeling everything at once. Frustrated, angry, annoyed, upset, satisfied and happy too. Lol! While walking to head for lunch with D and looking back at the pictures again for all the outfit that D and I chose during the try-out just now. Luckily, everything is seriously nice looking. Alhamdulilah! And I cannot wait to see when I'm fully don on the actual day. Lol!

I actually warn D not to be angry at them if they annoy us in any way but after seeing me cry, D went "Can I get angry and tell them at least if they are not treating us right?" I had to allow and agree with him on that part. LOL!

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Got home and D told me that his parents doesn't agree that the fact that we are doing our post-wedding shoot during the fasting month because it is just inappropriate. So he told me, it's either we do a pre-wedding shoot (which to me is more inappropriate since we are not married yet and how can we be touchy for pictures) or we cancel the whole post-wedding shoot. Of course I was annoyed. I was annoyed for the 2nd time in a day. I've deposited money already seh, it'll be a waste of money to cancel because we won't get our money back.

Besides a wedding photoshoot is once a lifetime. Plus, I have already made myself very clear why I wanted a post-wedding shoot and not pre-wedding shoot and I am not going back on my decision. Anyway, D is already my husband by then and we're already halal, so a photoshoot won't kill us besides maybe we will just be tired and thirsty since it's the fasting month.

All thanks to my bridal ah that we have to go through this kind of thing.

But anyway, we have settle this part already. I'm just afraid of my 2nd appointment of choosing my photoshoot outfit. Arhhhhh.   I told them I wanted to put on the sanggul lintang during my wedding day and now I'm thinking, should I should I not? Because I'm afraid I will look different and not nice. Errrr. And I probably want D to change his wedding blazer colour to something else, grey is too main stream. Hurrrr!

Hahaha! There you go bridal. I'm going to make changes again. I'll decide and see you soon.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥