I know it's a bit late but,
Happy New Year 2017 to you, myself and everybody else.
Looking back at those years, I cannot imagine how I have actually come this far when it comes to relationship. For me, relationship are the hardest to control or fathom out what's the future is going to be like because it involves another person's feeling, effort and love to make things work. In comparison to your job, your life, your education, mostly you are on your own to make it work or to break it at your own accord. You want to excel in education or your job? You work hard. You want to have more money? You work extra hard, take up another job something like that. You want to improve your life condition, your health? You work something out, you exercise and stuff like that. But relationship, it is just not about you. It involves another person. It's about you and him, you and her. It requires both effort. Sometimes, you may work hard, put effort into your relationship but if your partner don't, nothing will ever work out. You feel unappreciated, you feel like you've been taken for granted and you cannot be happy. You just cannot be happy alone in a relationship. Relationship means you are happy TOGETHER, not alone. So the ONLY way for you to make a relationship work is doing your part by putting effort AND at the same time, doa, doa, doa and ask from Allah SWT. Yes, you may not be in control of another person's feeling but Allah SWT is. And know that whatever your prayers is, He listens, He answers them. Sometimes, it may not be in a form of what you want but definitely in a form of what you need.
I have failed in a long-term relationship and I remember how I used to give up in the idea of marriage or even meeting anyone new, until D came along. Even that, with him, we failed in the earlier part of the relationship and I thought I will never get married, that nobody will ever love me in this life and I will never get to plan my own wedding etc like how Bella & Edward love life is, how they get married. *Hint*
But Syukur Alhamdulilah, I am going to now. Insyaallah.
The past may hurt but if it isn't because of the past, both D and I won't be what we both are now. I cannot describe what I've been put through all those years FIGHTING for what I have to fight for. My love life wasn't as smooth sailing as some other girl's fairy tales was. Tahajjud after Tahajjud, so many tears shed on my prayers mat, the sejadah, which only He knows. And Alhamdulilah! Allah SWT answered my prayers. I know I speak like an alien language, beating around the bush that nobody would understand what I'm trying to express but it's okay because some things in life are meant to be left unknown and kept between you and your partner and Him. All I just wanted to say was that, I went through so much pain & suffering, that I hope my children doesn't have to go through such painful love story either. But when I look back, if it wasn't because of the pain we feel or we had to go through, we might not come to realization and change to be what we are now.
I don't have anything much to say for 2017 since I am still quite the same. I did not take up any new course, I did not continue my education (still the same stuck in my honours degree), did not try any new hobbies or activities. I didn't do much for 2016 like how I have been my adventurous self for the past few years, doing Muay Thai etc etc. 2016 are just filled with preparations after preparations for the engagement and the upcoming wedding, Insyaallah.
And a shout-out to my fiancé, thank you for making out alive after few years with me. Hehehe! But thank you for still being the best person in my life. Thank you for always making me the happiest, for always giving in to me, to please me. Thank you for giving up many things that I don't like just to make me happy & make me feel at ease. Thank you for wanting to be with me, to marry me, for accepting me for who I am, what I am, in terms of my best and my worse, my perfections and my imperfections. Thank you for always promising me, that you'll take good care of me and wanting to change my life for the better when we get married. Thank you for wiping my tears when I cry because things get rough and trying to make everything okay and calm things down. Thank you for always working hard so that I don't feel less about everything else. Thank you for always advising me to be a better person in life.
There is nothing more that I pray and I hope that for us to be happily married, to always treasure and love each other because of Allah SWT and for us to continue reminding and to guide each other in Allah's ways. Insyaallah. Amin.
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I ever ask myself before what did I do so
Syukur Alhamdulilah for all the life lesson.
Till here.
XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni ♥
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