Sick

Dear Diary,

Thanks to Adik & Ressal for the sumptuous breakfast yesterday from Long John Silver! It was definitely more than enough to fill me up the whole day, which lead me to having no lunch nor dinner at all. =) The bread servings is thick enough to make you extremely full. Lol!

I think I'm craving for some Cookies & Cream Oreo Shake from Aiman Cafe. It may not taste as sweet. Remember I'm a 100% Sugar princess but oh well, it was good to do.

I've been a good princess as well, spending holiday & weekends at home while I see my siblings leaving the house to go out with their other half or friends. Stayed home and take care of Mama. And thank you Gossip Girl for putting me accompany throughout. You have been the closest to me ever since 5 years ago when my Poly clique introduce you to me. Hee! Not forgetting my Vampire Diaries as well as my True Blood which I haven't been catching up lately.

I can't believe I'm catching up on it till Season 6 now. I literally grow with it. And it's either I have Ice-cream while watching Gossip Girl or I snack on different tidbits. Hehe! That's the reason why my weekends are never boring even when I have to stay home. ;)

And how could I even explain more. I must be crazy or like they say lost in my own imaginary world of love. This is sick! Yes, I literally find myself really sick! Sick! Sick! Sick! I'm so sick of myself. Not that I am physically sick but it's sick! Oh, mentally sick. Call the ambulance please.

Love is a big word, especially when you haven't know that person well. Let's stick to I fancy you. HAHA!

That sick I mean, because I dream about D-man yesterday night. I really hate this. D-man wasn't in my thoughts before I go to bed, I'm SERIOUS!

On a lighter note, I've got to get myself ready. I'm heading to Spooktacular in a bit. I wish I needn't go to one since I don't really fancy these Halloween stuff and I'm working the next day too but Azmi just won free tickets to that. Gotta make full use of it, since we won't spend money on such events ever plus we're riding on a Cable Car for the first time. Oh, putting an emphasize to this, it's an Angry Bird Cable Car. -_-' Good day all!

P.S: Azmi said we're just going to ride cable car and head home. That boy is seriously so afraid! But I don't care, I'm so going to roam around and hunt for ghost. Casper, my friendly ghost. :)

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella ♥
Elena Gilbert(:

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha

Dear Diary,

First and for all, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all the Muslim across the world! 
Semoga ibadah kita diterima Allah S.W.T. Insyaallah! Amin! =)

And dearest Mama will be discharged today and I cannot wait to welcome her home. Woke up early morning for Subuh prayers, clean and vacuum the house already. I wanted to head down for Solat Adha at Al-khair mosque but felt awkward to go alone.

Amin suggested to head down to Yew Tee field for Solat Adha while he wait for me but it was already last minute, I'm afraid by the time I reach there, the solat would have already started.

Anyway, if not by now, my family would have been busy boiling the weaved ketupat that was done overnight, as well as helping Mama to prepare dishes for Hari Raya. Still, my greatest thank you to Mak Tam, Azmi’s family, Adik’s boyfriend, Ressal for sending some Hari Raya dishes. May Allah bless your kind soul! It may not be much but we are truly syukur.

And thank you Diniy, for he Korban video! He is currently in Malaysia now with his family. Hehe! I have always wanted to witness the slaughtering of the sheep & cow during Hari Raya Adha. And now I get to. It really means a lot. I'm really blessed with nice people around me. =')

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We have been through everything for so long. I couldn't fathom my own reason why, if I’m used to you? Do I pity you? or is this really out of love. It doesn't matter anymore to me; you have been a part of me for the longest time.

Sometimes I push myself hard forward but I don’t understand why I keep rewinding back. It’s really so hard, I’ve tried. Words to the wise. I know people meant well but like Mama & Ayah said, ultimately it’s my life, I decide.

Will I suffer in the future? Will things get worse? Or will there be sunshine after the rain? Or even rainbows at the end of the tunnel? Will things turn out to be better than anyone in this soul thought it won’t be? Who’s to know? Only Allah S.W.T knows the best and the only rightfully one to judge. Sometimes, I don’t even know what to pray & ask for. My feelings are certain but I don’t know why you haven’t got the slightest sympathy on me.

As quoted by someone, “Young, smart, pretty, witty. I hope you keep your options open.”

Others are so annoying, I cannot stand. None was competent. If it’s not this, it’s that. Well, as I walk aimlessly, prayers after are prayers accompanied me throughout my journey. I hope Allah S.W.T show shine a light on me on this.

Then I realized, I’ve got my eyes on you but then again, it felt all wrong again.

Till here.

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella ♥
Elena Gilbert(:

Arafah Fasting

Dear Diary,

I am so frustrated with the TV in my room. It’s not working! =( I want to watch my Grimm, my Hawaii O-Five. Yes, it’s Five-O right? But I love calling it O-Five instead. Lol! There are just so many things to buy.

For school, a new television set, a new laptop and I have this new urge to put on braces. HAHA! Save up! Save up!

And well, my Mama is fine, Alhamdulilah! But do keep praying for her to get well soon okay? Which I’m sure she will, Insyaallah. Amin!

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I hate this Secondary school stuff thingy especially when you are frustrated with someone. And then you go around talking to everyone except for that particular person that you are angry with. And then you make it so OBVIOUS, that you are unhappy with that someone especially when you turn around and say ‘Bye’ to everyone except for that someone. And the worse thing, I, being that someone has no definite reason to think of to why that person was angry about.

I have always hated this ‘guessing game’ kind of thingy whereby I am supposed to figure out what is it all about. Oh I am supposed to know right? For that reason, I don’t even feel like turning up seriously. I have so many things on my plate, so I don’t need unnecessary things like that to be added on.

From now onwards, I will draw my line. I will.

My internship colleague gave me this for Halloween. How cute! Told you she is such a sweetheart!

And she was also the one who suggested me to bake the ‘Peach Cobbler’ and it turn out well! Azmi, Ayah, Mama and everyone enjoyed it! =) And Azmi had more than 4 servings of that. HEHE!

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Before I go… PUASA ARAFAH

Don’t forget to fast tomorrow. =) Insyaallah!

The Arafah fasting falls on 9 Dzulhijjah of the Islamic Calendar. The name Arafah fasting is proposed as during this time, Muslim who is performing the pilgrimage in Mecca, is performing their wukuf under the scorching sun at the Arafah field. And the Arafah fasting is most targetted to those who is not doing the pilgrimage in Mecca.

To those Muslims who fast in these day, expiates for the past year's sins and the sins for the year coming.

“Puasa Arofah dapat menghapuskan dosa setahun yang lalu dan setahun akan datang. Puasa Asyuro (10 Muharram) akan menghapuskan dosa setahun yang lalu.” (HR. Muslim).

Source from:

http://remajaislam.com/islam-dasar/amalan/131-keutamaan-puasa-arafah.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_Arafa

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella ♥
Elena Gilbert(:

Roche HPV Talk

Dear Diary,

Mama’s operation went well today. Alhamdulilah! Nothing could ever explain how delighted and happy I felt that she is fine now. Amin! Thank you Allah for answering my prayers.

Anyway, head down to 61 Ubi Avenue to collect my winning $50 Capita land voucher and then head down to the hospital. By the time, I reached the hospital; it was just nice that I saw on the TV screen that Mama is already in the recovery room. Alhamdulilah!

Before I actually head down to the hospital, my colleague send me a text messages regarding….

Boy, I just had sugar rush, butterflies & excitement, I swear! HAHA! I don’t know what is wrong with me. What is just wrong with me?!

Anyway, it was only an hour later that the nurse called me that they are sending Mama back to the General ward. AMIN! Nothing as well could explain how syukur/contented I felt when they say General ward instead of the High dependency ward like before.

Mama look much better too compared to the previous operation. But still she was still on slight anaesthesia and morphine, so she was half-asleep most of the time. I decided to give Mama a rest and head down to Roche HPV talk at Four Seasons Hotel.

I was already booked for the talk and my internship student was kind enough to replace me if I couldn't make it on time. She is such a sweetheart! =) And since Mama was fine and all, I decided to head down for the talk with my 2 other colleagues.

Excellent talk on HPV and excellent food I shall say, now let my pictures do the talking.

Before the talk,

During the talk,

Food after the talk,

And too much food like this equals too much sugar. I can handle the consumption of high level of glucose like rice but high consumption on sugar = super high Azie. That’s the reason why I avoid Redbull! Because my clique used to tease me like as if I'm one drunkard woman when I'm on that poison! HAHA!

I just walked down the four season hotel stairway like a freaking CMI Victoria secret model. Joke. Big joke!

Colleague 1: Azie are you coming to work tomorrow?

Azie: Eh yes of course I am.

Colleague 2: Eh just now he came you know.
Azie: I know right! C (Colleague 1) texted me!
Colleague 2: I didn’t realize he come today you know, and then suddenly I hear his phone rang, the phone like Hip Hop song you know.
Azie: SERIOUSLY AH?! HAHA!
Colleague 2: Yah lah, then this girl (Colleague 1) keep giggling while stamping. I cannot help it. I also laugh!
Colleague 1: Are you thinking what to order tomorrow?
Azie: I've been thinking all day what to order already. HAHA!
Colleague 2: Remember ah, order one at a time so he can come in everyday.

Azie: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

My colleague’s excitement for me. HAHA! Goodnight lovelies!

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella ♥
Elena Gilbert(:

Respect

Dear Diary,

Mama’s operation is today. Please pray for my dearest Mama. Ya Allah! Let everything go smoothly. Amin! They say all we have to do is pray and the rest leave it all to Allah S.W.T, He knows the best. Insyaallah! Amin!

Yes, I am at home and will be heading down to the hospital soon. Not that I’m not being there for Mama Mama. I am but I just don’t like this uneasy feeling, the anxiety that I will have. It’s really scary and makes me want to cry.

And I didn't know waking up my brother could be this hard. I heard Mama complain many many times but I have never had to go through them until today. Sissy has already tried to wake him up but yet, he still goes back to sleep. So when Sissy went off to work, I woke him up for school since I'm on off today.

From telling me 10 minutes, to 5 minutes and then 2 minutes. I just lost all my patience. Yes, I am that sensitive because my frustration comes with tears. Don’t ask me why but I'm like that. So I end up crying and telling him, sampai hati, how can he even do this to me. But guess what? I got told off.

“Eh kau jangan nak nangis lah sial! Kau blah ah! Blah ah! Aku cakap BLAH AH!”

The moment I heard that, I left his room and cried even more. I prayed and asked Allah, why is my brother that way. It’s really heartbreaking. But it came with an answer myself, if he has that little respect for Mama, what more can I be.

I will never stop praying for him to change. Till here.

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella ♥
Elena Gilbert(:

Person B

Dear Diary,

I know I have been MIA-ing for so looooong. I have been wanting to update this empty space here but I just couldn't find the time so. Working life is really different from schooling life. I ALWAYS had time to blog, to shop, to meet friends during schooling days, even if I had like strenuous training from CCA, all-day volunteered activities, more projects and reports piling up for me to do. But just by working now, it can draw all the energy I have inside of me. Ohhh.. I hate to say this but probably it's a sign of me, AGING. =( Eek!

I have so many photos that I wanted to share but I'm going to give it a pass because it has been so many photos and many dates & days gone. I will try to update this little diary here as frequent as possible but one thing, I really need a new laptop. My sweetie pie here is almost dying, it has been 5 good years. You have serve me well since my polytechnic days. :) Please keep reviving till I buy a new laptop hokays!

Anyway, I just asked myself a question recently and this has nothing got to do with me, I think. Well, not for now definitely but I hope so not even in the future. I don't want to be facing such a situation. Anyway! It was just a thought.

What happen if you have been in a relationship for so long with A and you know you love this person very much and this A person loves you very much as well. But sometimes love is not the only thing that you have to look out for in a relationship. Certain things hasn't been working out good lately, you know things would be hard if you're going to marry person A.

And then just happen, just happen suddenly someone "right", person B walk into your life. Apparently person B has a little bit more perks than person A. You like person B but you have no idea if person B likes you, you have no idea of his background either, don't know name, NOTHING. BUT person B shows a bit of interest in you but not much to think he would actually like you back.

But this tiny heart of yours, keep saying he is Mr. Right. Instinct they say. But stupid instinct could be wrong. Whatever!..It's complicated, just too complicated. Oh well, I pen it down another day when my thoughts ain't messy.

The problem is I AM WORKING TOMORROW AND IT'S 1.22AM NOW. GOODNIGHT!

XOXO,

Princessazie Bella ♥
Elena Gilbert(: