I spend my time heading to work by reading a book or sometimes just browsing through the net. And as I was browsing through the net, I came across this article 2 days back.
10 things you actually learn from being a girlfriend and here is my take.
1. If you can, avoid expectations.
Being a normal human being, we usually expect a lot especially when it comes to our loved ones. It's because we are willing to do so much for them and we expect them to do, if not more at least the same for us. And I'll be lying to myself if I were to say I have never expect anything of my boyfriend. Well, in fact, I do, I did. But over the years, past relationship taught me to AVOID expectations. The more you expect something, the more you'll be disappointed if it didn't happen. Just go with the flow, if it's going to happen, it'll happen. You'll be surprised if things happens. If not, let it go. Until now, I don't expect D to do 'sweet romantic' stuff for me because he is not that kind of person. And even if D were to tell me he wants to meet up with me the next day, I don't expect us to really meet, in case he has some last minute work to attend to, at least I won't be so disappointed.
2. Be honest.
This part was a little bit difficult for me to adjust to initially. I am an honest person but I usually do it with comforting words so that I won't hurt the other party feelings. But being with D, he is a too honest. Lol! Sometimes he can say stuff that hurt my feelings really bad and I could go on for days being affected by it. HAHAHA! And D always say "I don't like to lie." Which can be a good thing sometimes because you know he always speak the truth even if he knows you will end up getting mad at him. And when he says "You look beautiful today." You know he is not lying or trying to placate you but he is speeaking the truth. Hehe!
3. Never let a day go by without telling him you love him.
I don't do it every day though but when I got the chance I do tell him from time to time that I love him very much and cannot feel anymore bless that Allah SWT have granted him in my life. Just so that I can avoid him from asking me, "You dah jelak eh dengan I?" Hehe!
4. Never get overly attached.
We were both overly attached in our past relationship. But guess both of us learn and so we decided to give each other space. And yes, D and I don't text each other 24 hours. When both are bust, just a couple of text here & there. Good morning, Good night and in between. Plus, we don't meet each other every day as well. At least once a week or once every 2 weeks? It was hard initially to adjust to this, but I guess, they say, absence/distance makes the heart grows fonder and Alhamdulilah it works for us this way. It's the feeling that you feel when you finally get to see each other after a few days of not meeting. Even after almost half a year, I still have butterfly in my tummy before meeting him like as if it was my first time meeting him. Haha!
5. Always be there for each other.
Guys don't usually share much of their problems unlike us girls. But I always tell D that no matter what, I am always here for him and always here to listen. But he is forever afraid that he might bore me with his complains & ranting, which has never been that case, so he don't usually tell me much. But to compare between D & I, he has a better "being there for me" than "me being there for him." When I am feeling unwell, D will text or call to check on me if I'm doing okay. Whereas for me, I'll usually end up forgetting that he isn't well and I don't usually ask if he is okay or isn't.
I will try to work on this. Hehe!6. Never let any fight or issue go unresolved.
Just like many other woman, I tend to bottle up my feelings, anger or unhappiness. But when you do that, you end up feeling miserable, feeling so terrible of yourself. And despite D always telling me "Next time, if there is anything, just anything, please tell me and don't keep it to yourself." Being stubborn, I still does that. It is when I couldn't take it anymore, I'll burst it all at once like some kind of time bomb. Haha! And that happens especially during PMS, which of course isn't a good thing. HAHA! But I'm always surprised at how good D is, handling situation like this. Because I always remember in my past relationship, talking things out always end up making things turn more sour than what it already was. I don't know how D does it but he always do it well. Problem solved. And I always end up telling myself, "If I know it was this easy to talk things out to him, why can't I just say it earlier?! Why do I have to kill myself for so many days just keeping this inside of me!"
7. Love him for who he is.
Well of course this is important. You have to love him for who he is. It's easy to start comparing your better half with someone else' other half and then end up feeling unhappy in your own relationship. To me, this is very unhealthy. I can easily point out that both D & I, we are like 99.9% opposite of each other. While he is more introvert and prefer to stay home kind, I, on the other hand are more extrovert and adventurous kind. He prefers to stay home while I always prefer to venture out places. While D are street smart, I am NOT street smart and can be really clumsy and pretty mess up sometimes. But I still love him for who he is and he still love me for who I am. Despite knowing how the differences can almost kill us. But they say what doesn't kill you make you stronger, so Insyaallah, we are staying strong for this. Haha! And at the end of the day, that is what that makes him, him and that is what that makes me, me.
If they have to change, let them change because they want to not because you asked him to. A change that is out of their own will are a much more sincere and better change compared to a change that is being asked to. Because this kind of change don't last long and they end up reverting back to their old self.
8. Always make the best out of every relationship.
Nothing last forever and you don't know what the future might hold. If it's meant to be, it is meant to be. Sometimes, there are days you stop yourself from doing the best for your better half, thinking, he doesn't do this for me, so why must I do this for him?
Whereas for me, I am not that kind of person. When I am in a relationship, for as long as I can fight for the person, I will. For as long as I can do everything and anything to make him happy, I will. For every sacrifice I have to sacrifice just for us, I will. And I will always always always always try to be and give the best that I can and make the best out of the relationship.
BUT...one thing about me, as much as I can sacrifice but once I said I'm done, means I'm done.
9. Always leave him wanting more.
Give it a little chase. A little bit of this and a little bit of that but do not give yourself away. And this will do the trick.
10. Be his friend.
You may be his girlfriend but allow yourself to be his friend as well. There will be restrictions in the way he behave if he is going to treat you just a girlfriend. However, if he treats you like both, a girlfriend and a friend, it makes the relationship more comfortable. You can be yourself!
---
iPhone 6 tomorrow. I wonder what will be like for the collections. Saw the news and the hype and kiasu-ness of people already camping overnight just for the iPhone 6. It makes me sick.
XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni.
No comments:
Post a Comment