Letter to Mama..

Dear Diary,

Dear Mama..

I miss you so much today. So much that I keep crying, I feel so sad. Here I am seated in this home alone...without you. Well, the everyday evening has always been the 2 of us mostly, watching TVs, sometimes snacking, me sharing you what my day is like and you telling me stories about your day. While Ayah is out to work, Muhammad always home late in the wee hours and Adik is out with Ressal. Now that Adik is married, having her family of her own, her own adorable son..pretty much busy with life - a perfect family. Syukur Alhamdulilah. I can never so much happier for her.

Mama, maybe I don't deserve the happiness in the world at all, or maybe I live in this life just to keep being happy for other people, or maybe my happiness is not here yet? I am unsure.

I have never blame fate or His Qada' and Qadar. Nothing like that. I accept what has been written for me in life. I am very much redha and put my trust in Him in denoting what is best for me. But being redha does not necessarily mean I don't tear sometimes. I do because I'm not emotionless. I feel pain. I feel sad. I feel lonely. I have feelings and I do feel..deep. I feel deep.

At the end of the day, how I wish I could come back to those warmth hugs & touch, comforting words and make me feel safe all over again. My time in this world was short but I hope I get to spend an eternity with you in the thereafter, Mama. Insyaallah. Amin.

My mom, you are irreplaceable and I miss you very very much. I hope God send me my missing kisses over to you.

XOXO,

Princess Azie Anni ♥
#PrayforAzie