Complicated.

Dear Diary,

It gets complicated sometimes, don't you think so? When you're in love with someone, the feeling is uncontrollable. When you get slightly attach over time. Well, attach is exaggerating. I wouldn't say attach because attach basically means you cannot even depart.

It's a connection, deeper, rather in-depth feeling you feel. Slightly "poisonous", slight "unhealthy" if people were to see it in their point of view but basically it's nothing but just love, purely love. You become overprotective. Sometimes selfish, sometimes clingy. You crave so much for their attention. At times, you feel afraid that the love you've build together, the so much effort you put in, be gone just like that, just like the same old cycle you've been through before. So you'll try even harder to "protect" and do what it takes to keep it going.

They wouldn't see. They wouldn't feel. They wouldn't understand.

Because...they don't reciprocate and neither are they in the person's shoe to feel. You don't know how tiring it is. How exhausting it is. Trust me, she wasn't trying to difficult, she didn't mean to and that, you should know.

But it's okay. Because one day we will all come to that point of realization how much someone means to you. How much has someone sacrifice so much for your happiness and just everything, the pain that has been put through, because nothing can be quite compared. And when you start to miss everything. I know it is always too late for everyone. It's when he/she is forever gone.

Syukur Alhamdulilah, Allah SWT has always make me see things in a different point of view. To always cherish, appreciate, to give in and love the people around me. That's how Mama is too. So I guess this will be the way my life is, my kind of "happiness", until the day I close my eyes, until the day I blow my last breath. One thing after that, don't ever cry for me.

Yours,
Princess.