The past few days have been horrendous, needless to say that D and I end up quarrelling every single day. This is by far the most baffled period of time that we had to go through. There is always something that seems to piss me off and make me so enrage about, plus I am already grumpy and grouchy enough every single day.
I know there are times when I'm mad, I can say the meanest things with the highest level of sarcasm, sarcastic remarks. Though as much as I try to control my tongue, it never work, but never to the extend of using vulgarities. I never believe in using swearing words when angry. Once you allow yourself to be doing that to each other, trust me, you'll start losing respect for one another. So no matter how angry - respect, respect, respect and still respect.
And neither am I taking advantage of that boy's patience towards me just because he has always been tolerable about everything that I am. Just that the situation sometimes doesn't permit me to keep my cool so much and I JUST had to explode. I am quite short-tempered to be honest.
So as promised, I wanted to start afresh, all over again. Nothing can be quite compared how much I truly love D. We tried to go through a day without quarrelling at least today, which we almost quite fail because I got angry over another thing and D was trying so hard to convince and explain to me about stuff.
I don't know if this is the engagement trials you call them. It has only been 2 months ++ of engagement and trust me, we have never gone through so much of a quarrelling quite like these for all the times we've been together before. I guess that's when people say, you have to fight for each other and it's either you guys will make it or break it. We both did a fair part of fighting in this. D never fail to keep fighting for us and ironically I'm fighting too, but
But like I said, not that I purposely wanted to be this difficult but there are just some things that always angers me so much. If it's not us, it's some others. 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 And if you google about the types or trials one could face during an engagement (not necessarily happen to all), hands down to all these people. 
They are somewhat true.
First time ever D and I ever talked on the phone together for so long today - 1 hr 30 mins. Unlike other couples, we rarely talked on the phone, so it was somehow a joy for me today yet maybe the cons, I start to realize talking on the phone thingy is not for me anymore. House chores and everything got stalled for a moment for that period of 1 hour plus. Lol! But the pros is that I realized no matter how much we quarrel like Noah and Allie from the Notebook each and everyday, cehhhh. Hahaha! I know for one thing, D love me and I myself, have always enjoyed D's company so much that I do not want the conversation to end. I love him, a lot.
And then we realized our HDB appointment is like in 3 days away. Syukur Alhamdulilah! At the back of our hands, we secure a queue number for both Bukit Panjang BTO and Sembawang @ East Delta BTO. I leave everything in the hands of God. If Allah SWT thinks Bukit Panjang is good for us, then by all means. Else, if we fail to get the one at Bukit Panjang, we shall go for the Sembawang ones.
Pathetically, our queue number for Bukit Panjang BTO is 523 out of 525 and Sembawang @ East Delta BTO queue number was at least so much better. Hurhur! So yeahs! We are sort of the last few couple to close the deal of Bukit Panjang BTO queue number that is within the available units. I used to complain so much about not getting a queue number for the many number of times of our failed applications but I have to thank Allah SWT, for His plans are always the best for us. I cannot imagine staying at Bukit Batok or any other ridiculous areas that we ever tried applying before for the sake of getting a house. Mostly, were out of the way and...no other amenities around or bus stop. LOL!
So my recent check for Bukit Panjang BTO, the ethnic quota for D and I (Malay) are left about 38 people and we're left until Monday to do a final check/update for the ethnic quota that will be left for that BTO. I don't think they have any appointments on the weekends (Saturday), hopefully not. Because I've already aimed for one particular block and the unit that I wanted BUT it is so risky. Chances of the flats getting taken or book could not only be by any Malay couple but other races also lorr.
And it is so depressing to see, when Malay couples kept applying on a certain block, the number of the Malay ethnic quota for that particular block gets lesser and lesser, which also means the chances of D and I getting that unit within that block is thin too. Technically out of 6 blocks in Bukit Panjang, 2 blocks have reached to 0 Malay quota already. Tskkk! Everyday when I end work at around 5.30pm, I'll visit the HDB website just to make sure that MY HOUSE, okay technically the house that I am AIMING for is still left untouched and not booked. Lol! Funny, my colleague Eileen too, will be excited for me and asked how is my flat doing each time. Hahahaha!
But every time when I think about how longggggggg this Bukit Panjang BTO takes to get completed, makes me feel bereaved. 6 years from now and 5 years from after our wedding day. So freaking long! Tell me about it.
But whatever it is, Allah SWT have His plans. And oh why not Sembawang? Actually Sembawang @ East Delta BTO was our 2nd back up if we don't get the ones at Bukit Panjang. But D's parents and my dad are more keen on us getting Bukit Panjang BTO, the reason being they said Bukit Panjang is better than Sembawang due to the amenities and of course, it's nearer to both of our parents' places.
So okay lah. Unless we don't get the BTO at Bukit Panjang, then we'll choose the BTO at Sembawang @ East Delta. And I don't mind Sembawang anyway because it has more balconyyyyyy units and it will be ready in 4 years time and 3 years time from our wedding. K. Hahaha!Excitingly, we haven't even get our house yet and I'm already discussing with D on how I wanted our house to look like.
Hahaha! So, I cannot imagine how other couples even feel when they have their own house or house keys at hands already. I envy couples who get to move-in into their house right after marriage or maybe few months after their marriage before having kids yet, at least they get to spend quality together just the two of them before the kids come into the picture. Hehe! But like D always remind me "Ni kan rezeki masing-masing sayang." True to that.Oh anyway, I actually wanted a transparent toilet in the master bedroom but D doesn't agree with me on that. Tskkkkkkkk!! But well, about that, we can discuss this again in 6 to 5 years down the road.
But I think it will be a less of a good idea because D said, "Takkan kita nak buat transparent toilet dalam bilik kita, then kalau budak-budak masuk bilik kita, then tengok, like that???" Hmm...by then, we will probably have children, Insyaallah, who knows. And I cannot imagine having to bring my kids out of the master bedroom just because D or I needed to use the toilet or have them entering our room while D or I are using the toilet. Hahahaha! Erm..yeahs. 
D did make a point there.Till here dreaming of my house but not having house yet.
XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni ♥
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