I was talking to one of my guy friend today and he asked me, "Why women have terrible mood swings during menses and why are they always being difficult? So stressful!"
I don't blame him for feeling that way because sometimes I, myself do not have an answer to that question of why. I can never give an explanation to the way of why we feel that way during those days. To each its own on how different woman behave or act during pre-menses. All I could explain is how I feel during at this period of time. It may or may not be the same.
My menses cycle are irregular and that can be good or bad. Bad because period cycle count-down doesn't work for me. So, I do not know when will it come. Good because sometimes it's late and when it's late, safer-side. No mood swings.
So usually 1-2 weeks before my menses come. I'll suffer a short sharp pain call the ovulation period. Some people do not feel pain during their ovulation period. In fact, I have never feel or suffer from this not until recently as I age (probably). Either you're sitting down or doing anything, when an egg is being released and it goes 'pop' and then that's when the sharp pain will come and you'll cringe in pain. Though it doesn't last long but, it's painful. And it goes on for at least a week but not on a daily basis.
After that, a week or just days before my menses, I can literally feel how my body change and how hormonal changes takes place. I choose to call it the hormonal imbalance. It's like you can feel that you're not yourself but you cannot control it. You get emotionally drain. Anger, sadness, stress, it just come crashing down. It's a crazy feeling because you do not know what to feel. You don't know if you should cry, to feel angry, to punch someone, you're just unsure. So you do all. You cry, you get angry, just everything.
That's not all, some like me, I start to crave for nonsense food. Sometimes I choose to think that it's just me and not my body but I guess it doesn't work that way. Everything is uncontrollable. My cravings can range from less to severe. Being severe on rare occasion where I can literally CRY when I cannot get the food that I want to eat. Generally, I'll start craving certain food which I could just go get it myself. Like this month, I wanted waffles so badly. I ate 4 waffles. =X
Not many have this but I'll have super bad nausea during pre-menses. I won't be able to stand certain smell and I will start vomiting after food. I cannot stop myself. Again it's uncontrollable. And the vomiting is not just vomit and done. It always feel like as if you had severe food poisoning. So you keep vomiting a couple of times. Sometimes you vomit and cringe and worse scenario is when you also need to poo and you can't decide whether to vomit or to poo. There were bad days occasion where I literally vomit until I almost sit on the toilet flooring or when I vomit and poo at the same time. That is how bad it can be.
Menses. That's when my cravings are gone and so are my nausea days. But the cramps will hit me like an imbecile pain. On lucky days, I do not have any cramps but most of the time I do. The pain is so painful that my whole body will start aching. Even before my menses come, I'll start having this kind of sign and I know it's coming. The pain starts from the lower back all the way to the thigh. And it's very painful. And the ovaries & v-gee-gee hurts like 100 times crazy like as if you are carrying a ball inside and it doesn't want to come out. You feel like punching or cutting your stomach open to stop the pain but it's even too painful to even lay a finger on it. When your menses clumps are bigger and more, the harder it is to be released and the more painful it feels.
By then, this time you can never explain what does your body want. Honestly, I can never figure out even at this point, and so does some of my friends too. Like are you hungry? Or you need the toilet? Or is it menses cramp? As everything feeling hungry, needing the toilet and menses happens at one spot - your stomach area. You just can't decide what is. So I'll usually start rolling around on bed, crying my eyes out. If at work, I'll usually just head home. Even that, I couldn't even walk!
I refused to take painkiller UNLESS if I have no choice. I'd rather just bear the pain as I do not want to be dependent on drugs. I never like taking drugs or painkiller just like that, because I'm afraid that my body will be resistant towards drugs one day. For example, I only require one tablet to beat painful menses before, but as I keep consuming it on a monthly basis, my body become resistant to it. Instead of one tablet now, I require two tablets to relief pain. So before my body became worse that I require till 3 tablets and then, scary if all the drugs stop working on me, I stop taking painkiller or self-medicate myself with drugs for as long as my body can take it or my immune system can fight it.
Most of the time, the pain only last for a day, as usually the first day is when it has heavy flow and all the painful clumps of blood flows out. And second day, could be painful but not as bad as the first day. And sometimes because of menses, you don't have the appetite to eat but you have to or else, the pain will still persist. To relief pain, I always try to go toilet, eat on time and I drink my turmeric-tamarind drink, which helps in my menses flow, so that it won't be too painful. Just do all trial and error to relief the pain. Can never figure out what pain is what.
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I understand when I'm being difficult. Yes, we are aware of that but we cannot help it. Like I mentioned, everything is uncontrollable and we are not in control of the changes in us during this time. Not that we purposely choose to be difficult but for me, everything about others pisses me off and irritates me, not just other people, so is my body to me. Even as I explain this, nobody would understand the pain I have to go through or we woman have to go through every month. It cannot be explain unless you go through it yourself.
Yes, it's annoying seeing us behaving this way. Yes, it's frustrating not understanding why we have to behave this way. But everything happens due to the nature of God, how Allah SWT creates us women. We don't have a choice.
But of course as much as not many guys will understand what we, woman have to go through. There are others who are willing to be the "punching bag" for you for as long as you feel better. Be your console and comfort to your painful days no matter how annoying or frustrating you can be to them. Be understanding to your cranky, crazy mood swings-emotions even though they have no idea what's going on in your body or feel how painful it is to you. Apologizing even when they did nothing wrong but to you, they did everything wrong. Being patient despite all the painful words you start throwing at them. Still choose to talk nicely and love you over and over again, upon seeing how monstrous you can get at this very point of life.
Thank you, D. Even though I always ask God, why am I marrying you, why He chose you for me, it could be because not many people would be able to stay after seeing this side of me every time. Thank you for all that you are. I didn't mean to be difficult.
XOXO,
Princess Azie Anni ♥
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