Happy Birthday, Princessazie Bella!

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2257 hours

Dear diary,

Thank you to those who have wished me Happy Birthday, not in any order of first come first serve basis. CEH! HAHA!

Thank you,

To my family of course, Mama, Ayah, Sissy, Muhammad, Ressal.

To my cousins & relatives,

Mas, Fadil, Lyna, Nadiah, Syam, Mak Tam, ak Teh, Tok, Kak Mar, Boor, Balong, Icah, Imms, Bryan, Abg Rosli, Kakak Siti, Kak Sharifah, Abg Lili.

To my Bestfriends,

Hernie, Hajar, Hana, Pag, Amanda, Noreen.

To my Colleagues,

John, Helen, Anita, Charlotte, Jie Min, Pia, Clarice, Trisha & Dania.

To my friends,

Nur Syahirah, May Ong, Nigel Chin, Scythe Park Neul Hyo, Kasturri Sivanesen, Yanty HS, Sarip Pritchard, Gamer Toh, Tiang Long, Chong Jia Sheng, Eric Lee, Kasminah Kamsin, N Hid Poppysmic, Nur Erianti B H, Zee S Khalil, Avenged Shadowz, Fish Yuhan, Nurul Ainn', Selyn Lim, Muhammad Mohd Rizal, Erynn Bam Bam, Lewis Chen, Sei Yin Feng, Hui Ying, Lyssa Kiddo, Ramu Dazzler, Priya Manohar, Nur Shahira, Wan Haha, Muhammad Ridhaus Ridwan Sholihin, Asvin Kaur, Muhammad Fareezal Idros, Leong Wei, Sharon Cheong, Mabel Tan, Muhammad Anwar, Kim Lee, Wann Nana, Rafidah Rafi', Usher Raf, Johannesen Leaw, Shazzie Bartowski, Syafiq Kazuya, Izzati Zain, Ong WeiQuan, Faiz Isa, Zaliha Othman, Xian Yong Peh, Lisah Khalip, Eveleen Yong, Nur Ain Idros, Timothy Tung, Satish Blingz, Jonathan LordofCombo, Gabriel Foo, Farra Bellamy, Yaya Nadiya, Kasmini Kamsin, Lim LiYing Edina, Tianhui Ho, Nur Hetty Zulkifli, Mario Rosales, Kasminah Kamsin, N Hid Poppysmic, Lai PengShi, Muhamad Faiz Bin Kamari, Faiz Isa, Lim LiYing Edina, Farra Bellamy, Yaya Nadiya, Reshmi Giselle, Eveleen Yong, Diyanah Raffi, Hidayah Ridzwan, Lynayuffi Hamzan, Aishah Al-Rashid, Danial Ahmad, Nur Insyirah A.K, AtiqaahNaser, shfq s, mizzymiza, nyonyakinah, ENa LyaNa, Safloveszacquisha Montezz, Syahirah Sahar, Muhd Azri, Zuleira, Eiqa.

I hope I’ve mentioned everyone names here. I’m sorry if I left out any. You know who you are anyway without me having to put your name up here. Your well wishes are really really really appreciated! =DD

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And the sad thing is waiting for the one you expect most to wish you, hadn’t even wish you at all or even bother to spend time with you on your very special day.

I can be understanding that one is exhausted or tired but it’s true when people tell you, it doesn’t stop the one who loves you very much to give you a short text of well wishes and say he will make it up to it the next time if he is tired or whatever the reason is. In actually fact, these people will sacrifice everything and anything JUST FOR YOU, especially on that special day of yours.

Silence is all I got. And to think that you’re very tired, while others are too. I have no more words to say, because right now at this moment, I know where I stand in your life. I’m really that low. I’m not trying to be petty, but this really does show everything. And it hurts me real bad. Because if you can’t care now, can’t be bothered now, what makes you think you will in future?

A few minutes left before 28 May 2012 is gone and it’ll be all another more days and months of waiting before I hit my next birthday. If onlyyy, I live up that long to face another year of my birthday, God willing. I hope next year be a better birthday than this year.

Still thank you to all those that manage to put a smile on my face. APPRECIATE IT. Isyak first and off to sleep. =’( Oh hell yes, I cried on my BIRTHDAY.

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Army Open House

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 1518 hours

Dear diary,

26 May 2012

Woke up early in the morning to accompany Mama for Muhammad’s Meet-The-Parent session. I really think I need some good long sleep. Haven’t had one for a long time and probably that’s the reason why I’ve been feeling unwell. My body feels rather weak and body ache all over. Hopefully, I don’t get caught in the old sickness again.

Meet-The-Parent session.

Muhammad’s school was nice. The school is big with all the facilities fully equip for their studies. But seriously, I really don’t understand all these ITE students. Not all but MOST of them! Given the opportunity to study and do well, they don’t make full use of that opportunity to excel. The lecturers even mentioned almost all of the students tend to skip class and don’t hand in their assignment on time or they don’t even bother to do it at all.

Only a handful of them like 1 or 2 students, that I heard him mention that they were not bad. I mean why?! If I were in your places people (which I am more than glad to exchange places), I will definitely make full use of this opportunity to do well and excel! Get on to Higher Nitec then to Polytechnic and lastly a degree! Knowing other students don’t care, FOR SURE, I know I can beat the rest in their studies. I’ll make sure I outshine other people seriously. But these people don’t use their brain but choose to follow the path of 1 rotten apple and become a bundle of rotten apples altogether.

Some are even worse, thinking doing well and not mixing with the rotten apple means people would look down at them and call them nerds or kental. To hell with them seriously! Because when you excel and succeed one day with a good paying job and better prospect in life, this people who once call you nerds or kental, will look up to you and say, “Why wasn’t I like him before?” It’s WORTH being a nerd and kental because those pretend to act cool or be cool before, they are actually aren’t one.

Wake up people. Education is important, without education you are nowhere. Even now, I’m looking at schools to upgrade myself or go for another higher certification from where I am now. If only I have the money that easy, I would do it. So people, it’s time to wake up!

27 May 2012

Went to Army Open House today with Cousin Lyna! I really have to thank her a lot for accompanying me there since I have wanted to go there like 127623782 times already. Don’t feel like elaborating much on the Open House because I’m having tiff with B and it’s like really realllllllly taking a whole lot on me.

On a lighter note, I have less than half an hour more to my 21^st Birthday! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Spending it with people that matters! =) OI! I’m really 21 lahhhh!

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

My deepest condolences

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2154 hours

Dear diary,

My deepest condolences to B and his family as well as relative, hope you guys will be strong, which I’m sure you all are. =)

Death is definitely something inevitable in life. When Allah S.A.W says your time is up, means it’s up and not even a single soul can stop Him. I really cannot imagine losing the people I love the most; it’s something I don’t think I can handle. =( But they always said, every challenge and obstacles that Allah S.A.W gave you, it’s because He knows that you can handle it. But trust me, it is always easy said than done.

Looking at situation, I somehow recall those days when I was still in Secondary school and I lost 2 of my precious grandmas. My first grandma, Nenek Cah was someone that I was super close with and she doted on me the most. She took care of me when I was a baby, so you can just imagine the bond that I shared with her. I don’t know how but I somehow knew something was going to happen, so I spend my last moment with her fulfilling her wishes.

1) She had always wanted me to live with her, even though I didn’t stay with her, I make an effort and make sure that I come for a sleepover at her house on every weekends.

2) She had always told me she wanted to see me wearing my uniform and going to school from her house and to prepare me breakfast. She stayed at Jurong while my school was just next to my house. So can you imagine, waking up at 5.30am every morning when I could have just wake up at 6.45am from home. It was like a 5 mins walk to her bus stop and I have to take a bus to head down to the interchange and then MRT to CCK and another 10 minutes walk to school. It was really quite a journey. Still, I do it just for her.

I even made a promise myself that once I enter RP (I had this school all along at the back of my mind), I would move over to stay with her but she passed away before I could even fulfill that.

I managed to make her happy, seeing her smile everyday and fulfill her wishes. But the last wish she had was for me to pass my driving and drive her around Singapore. But I wasn’t even 18 yet at that point of time to register for car. Still, I’m all glad that I manage to do something that she has wanted to do with me. I do miss her from time to time but I always tell myself. The life that I have now is just temporary but the afterlife, it’s for a lifetime. We’ll meet again, Grandmas!

And to B’s grandma, Semoga rohmu dicucuri rahmat dan diletakkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman. Amin! Insyaallah!

It was definitely nice knowing her. I have spoken to B’s grandma twice, one was during B’s cousin wedding ceremony and another of B’s cousin, Nadiah & Iman’s Birthday party. After 2 of my Grandmas passed away, I have always regard B’s grandma as my own. I do remind him constantly to visit his grandma because I don’t want him to regret or even say ‘I should have done this and this but it’s too late now’ when the time comes. Feeling guilty and regret when someone has passed away, is the worst feeling you could ever feel. Insyaallah, I will always try to avoid it

.

Anyway, I still remember vividly B’s grandma telling me her grandmother story over at Nadiah & Iman’s Birthday party, when I was left alone with her on the round table at the park, while the others did the cleaning up. She talked about her youngster days, how B’s auntie was in their teenagers, how she had another child who passed away and not to forget how big her house is over at Melacca. It was definitely something that she was so proud of to have. She even got B and I mix up thinking we are already engage. I remembered having to tell her so many times that we aren’t and her words on repeat were always ‘Nanti kalau dah tunang, datang lah kampong nenek dekat Melaka, besar tau. Suruh Ami ajak. Eh Ami, jangan lupa ajak ni, tunang kau datang kampung nenek.’ And B’s word on repeat were always “Ye Nekkkkkk”

I always thought I would be able to fulfill that small wish of hers, to get engage with the boy and to visit her humble kampung one day. But I guess sometimes, some wish is just not meant to be fulfilled and they are left to live in the past.

Just within that short period of time that we get to meet up, I learn and knew quite a lot. And it was definitely a story worth sharing, something that I would love to listen and don’t mind listening myself even for the umpteen times. =)

Like I mention, we’ll meet again Grandmas, Insyaallah!

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I miss B badly and I’m not feeling well myself. Can someone bring me over to the ‘Army Open House’ tomorrow PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Strictly Pancake

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2355 hours

Dear diary,

I’m skipping #photoadayMay for today.

My knee is hurting quite a bit because yesterday, I fell down on the staircase near Bukit Batok bus stop on my way to work and it was raining too. =( That was super embarrassing! I don’t even dare to look up to see if anyone was looking. Took me a while to get back on my feet because the knee were hurting so bad and when I stood up, I acted like as if nothing happened but the pain itself is already unbearable. Thank God, I can still perform my prayers with this.

And today, I met up with Gf Hanali as well as Nithia for dinner. Hana’s dance class only finishes at 8.30pm, so Nithia and I met up earlier to window shop and catch up on lots of things. And that gundu went to ruffle my hair and my dry scalp just…. Haiz!

I’m so freaking fed-up with all the shampoo that I’ve used or maybe I’m just fed-up with my scalp. After all so many shampoos I’ve tried, I’m still like so allergic, that I have dry scalp! It’s not dandruff it’s freaking dry scalp. When I use a certain type of shampoo my hair is fine but it lasted only for at most 6 months when I start to react with the shampoo and I have dry scalp all over again. I’ve tried putting on Olive oil and change many types of shampoo and it still doesn’t work. Last resort, I’m so going to see the doctor about this. =(

Anyway, Nithia and I were just walking aimlessly at Marina Square. Can you imagine from City Hall we walked all the way to SMU and end up at Dhoby Ghaut. Zzz! Hana & I wanted to treat ourselves to Avenger’s Meal for dinner but we kind of change plan and head down to ‘Strictly Pancake’ instead. It was something that I have wanted to try before too because I miss ‘Pancake Parlour’ at Aussie and friends mentioned ‘Strictly Pancake’ was good too.

Mine! It’s called ‘The Druggie’. If you are really a hard fan of dark chocolate, then it might do you good. I love to eat something that makes me ‘sick’ when eating like creamy pasta at Pastamania. I have no idea why, don’t ask me why I like to torture myself like this. Lol!

This is too druggie that I can’t even finish it off and I can’t even bring myself to sleep now. I wanted to try salmon, turkey or prawn pancakes but it being not Halal makes me afraid to try something else. B wouldn’t sound so please. =X Plus I don’t know if pancakes go well with salmon, prawns or any other food combination. I know I shouldn’t be eating this but I really wanted to try. =( I’m even afraid if they had alcohol in my pancakes, hopefully not!

Hana’s Salmon I can’t remember the name

Nithia’s Eggs poach and I don’t know the name too.

And I’m still craving for Avenger’s Meal. I guess Miss M is on its way because I feel like I could feed on anything anytime. Help! =( Okay, off to eating steak now! Mama just bought themmmm and I’m still hungry. I KNOW RIGHT! T_T

Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Pink

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2347 hours

Dear diary,

#photoadayMay 20, 2012 (something you can’t live without)

Since it says someTHING here and not someONE. So I basically can’t live without my money money money. Who can? Sadly, you need money for almost everything in this world. For some people out there, even money can buy their love. But oh well, you’ve got to try hard to buy my love with money because it doesn’t work for every woman and definitely not for me.

#photoadayMay 21, 2012 (where you stand)

Credit to Sissy. She painted this shoe herself back then in Secondary if I’m not wrong. HEHE!

Here I am standing tall full of beautiful colours surrounding me because of you.

#photoadayMay 22, 2012 (pink)

The combination of my PINK wall, bed frame as well as my pillow case.

Fact you need to know, my favourite colour is red and I don’t really fancy pink. But I have almost everything in pink. -_-‘

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I’ve been taking a lot of leave from work for Mama’s check-up this month as well as I’m going to have my check-up too this month. I hope I’ll have enough annual leave to pull me this year. I really need lots of them and I don’t mind even working on 2 Sundays per month just for the annual leave.

I need to sleeeeeeep.

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Missing Melbourne

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2300 hours

Dear diary,

#photoadayMay 15, 2012 (Love)

I remember taking this picture back then when I was in poly. Those days when I had all the creative ideas to do stuff like this and as I age, I guess I’ve become less creative. =(

Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment you have for someone. (Wikipedia. Love. 17 May 2012. From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love) And I have been hearing problems regarding relationship for the past few days, especially on break ups. Have you guys out there have no mercy at all on us, woman? When we have done and sacrifice so freaking much for you! Can't you just see it?!

Not to say my relationship is perfect always because just recently, I had a tiff with B. It was over a thing so small, trust me! And if I were to mention, people would definitely laugh! But it’s because of this little thing that you guys choose to ignore or even think it’s not a big deal, causes your relationship. If you choose to ignore or take small problems lightly, what makes us feel confident being with you to solve bigger problems?

Sometimes, I feel like I wanted to end things because I just couldn’t stand it anymore, when this quote always strike me,

“Even if I have 100 good reasons to leave you, I’ll make sure I find 1 to stay”

#photoadayMay 16, 2012 (What you’re reading)

I’ve yet to go to the library to borrow books and get into my reading mood but this is what that accompanies me most of the time. =)

#photoadayMay 17, 2012 (Snack)

I have lots and lots of snack and food today, that’s because it’s Mama’s birthday today! =)  Sissy & I brought her over to Sakura, Clementi and glad Mama and the whole family enjoy it! The snack,

#photoadayMay 18, 2012 (Something you made)

I love baking! If ingredients were all so cheap, I would bake everyday! And this was something I made recently. Oreo Cheesecake but the cupcake version, I don’t find it really good but it was just fine and B is asking me to make somemore for him. Aww!

Stay tune for the next thing that I’m going to bake. ;)

#photoadayMay 19, 2012 (a favourite place)

Melbourne I would say! It’s really my favourite place for now. Given the opportunity to come back there again, I would! I love the atmosphere, the shopping and the people there. I don’t know, it just feel stress-free and the weather there, it’s not as humid as Singapore and you can see your hair at its best, it really falls in place. ;)

Let me go back to Melbourne one day please!


Till here, I’m really rushing to finish the entry. Really sleepy! Okay goodnight!

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Oreo Cheesecake Cupcake

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2333 hours

Dear diary,

#photoadayMay (Grass)

Green green grass, save mother earth. Green is life. It gives the colour of warm and cooling effect. It can also denotes growth, renewal, health and environment. On the other side, green is also associate with jealousy or envy. (About.com (2012). Green. From Jacci Howard Bear's Desktop Publishing Colors and Color Symbolism. Retrieved from http://desktoppub.about.com/cs/colorselection/p/green.htm) 

Wait, is green the colour of….SHREK?!

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My first attempt of baking Oreo Cheesecake today but it’s the cupcake version though.

I shall say for a starter it was not bad. HEHE! It is served best when it’s cold. I put it in the fridge and had it after and the taste is like wow wee, just like those Oreo Cheesecake at McCafe. See, this girl is commenting on her baking, eee no shame! HAHA! Well, let you all do the picture tasting and judge.

But can you just imagine? I spent like about approximately less than 20 bucks to produce this Oreo cheesecake and they’re selling those Oreo cheesecakes for like 5 bucks per slices at McCafe. How expensive! I ate like almost 3 of that Oreo cheesecake cupcake already, imagine, it’s like equals to $15 worth of Oreo Cheesecake at McCafe. Ish ish!

Anyhoo, meeting dearest Hana girlfriend and Nithia next week Thursday! Was supposed to meet this Thursday but I totally forgot all about Mama’s Birthday. Hehe! And that Nithia boy has already passed his freaking bike licenseeeeee! I haven’t even got mine yet, I’m seriously phobia of falling off from the bike anymore and that’s the reason why I’m not going back for practical plus my breaking of the bike is atrocious! Nithia offered me to send me home on his bike but…

…. But I swear I just love the adrenaline rush and the shiokness feeling when riding a bike.

Till here, I’m supposed to let B taste my Oreo Cheesecake and it’s almost 12am and he is not contacting me yet. I give up, I’m off to sleep.

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(:

Happy Mother's Day!

¨°o.O (Post) O.o° 2321 hours

Dear diary,

#photoadayMay 12, 2012 (something that makes you happy)

There’s definitely more than one thing that makes me happy but one of the thing that makes me happy is definitely to bake. I prefer baking to cooking. The reason because baking involves creativity, not to say cooking doesn’t but with baking like cupcakes, donuts, cakes and etc, I can do more with the decoration and I have sweet tooth. =)

Baking something, sooner or later.

#photoadayMay 13, 2012 (Mum)

I’m afraid to write…..because I might get all emotional and stuff especially at this state that I’m going through now. =( Still,

Yes we look alike, everyone says that. Hehe! 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama! Anyway, no amount of words could ever explain how much I love you. You’re like the air that I breathe; simply put you’re my EVERYTHING! I can go on without friends in life or anyone but I definitely can’t go on with life without you.

And I wouldn’t be what I am right now because of you. Thank you so much for your endless love and sacrifices. Insyaallah Mama, for as long as I’m here and capable, I would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING for you. Even so, I know nothing could ever be compared to what you have done for me, for us. May Allah S.W.T answer my prayers, our prayers, get well soon Mama, be strong and keep fighting! We really need you. =’)

And no other song suit more, I dedicate this song for you, Mama!

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful, baby Mama

You're the one who held me up

Never let me fall

You 're the one who saw me through

Through it all

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me, ooh, baby Mama

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith; you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love, I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe, I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because

I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You were always there for me, the tender wind that carried me

The light in the dark shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration through the lies you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'cause you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

to the person we call,
Mom, Mama, Mummy, Ibu, Umi and etc etc etc. =)

Leave you guys a quote by dearest Cousin Nadiah,

"Nothing parallels to the love of a mother. A mother is the only person who can get mad at you and make you dinner at the same time. They’re the strangest, most unique and self-less human beings."

XOXO,
Princessazie Bella<3
Elena Gilbert(: